At my age I just show up and do the best I can. So far I feel that my transition is going pretty well. The most important thing for me is that I am confident that I know who I am on the inside and that I let that show on the outside. My confidence is prolly the most feminine thing about me. 😸✌️💋

I put things off until almost insane. Been on HRT for over two years, but responsibilities such as family, business ownership and denial, have been used as an excuse to postpone needed surgeries. I got to where daily activities were nearly impossible as depression and weariness debilitated me. First surgery is scheduled for October. I hope the others follow shortly

So far I haven't really made any plans and have been stumbling along with my social transition (quite successful though). But I have no idea what to do next. Setting the different goals is such a great idea. Got some planing to do now. :) Thank you as always for your wonderful advice, Dr Z.

Having my goals written down it a huge part of my transition! I say this as I have a few more days before I return to the U.S after completing one of my stretch goals of having plastic surgery. Seeing it in writing and for me putting dates to achieve the goals has gotten me to the point where I have about 3 more stretch goals and the major one bottom surgery for 2023. It's also nice to look back and see where you were. 8 months ago I decided to come out to my family then work. I had been on HRT for over a year and even been doing both types of hair removal. I'm at a point where I'm being the true me 24/7 and very close to feeling fully complete as far as major goals goes. Had I not seen your video last year with the metaphor about how transition is like build a house where you start with your foundation and build up I would have done what I always do just keep it on my mind and hope to figure it out later thus making it easy to put off. Another great thing about goals is how empowering each one it when you complete it and make it easier to move to the next one. Always love your videos Dr. Z! seeing them and realizing I'm doing the suggestions in some form let's me know I['m on the right track! ❤️💯

Dr. Z has the best, most unique jewelry.

Great channel that undoubtedly helps many people because not everyone has access to a gender-specialist therapist but the need remains.

I found this extremely helpful in my current situation and will absolutely start making my plan!!!! Thank you Doctor Z you are amazing!

Thank you for the advice . I’m giving my self goals like staring medically transitioning so I can socially transition with the next year after starting my first day of HRT this month. this includes wearing more unisex’s clothes as well as better nail care by going to nail salon regularly .

notes: goals are imperative to have a clear idea to where you're going. mindset and perspective matter the most in transition, in meeting any challenge or step back. if you're planning on transition, today - what would you like to get out of it? what are little things you can do? these may change with time. if your goal is to achive more confidence or comfort, outline what that looks like. (overral) you're not gonna be on a time limit, but it's your main goal. stretch goals / mini goals are elements that you can achieve results in a short amount of time. maintenance goals: they take time to set into place. they take time to follow thru. you have to invest time and energy they can feel frustrating but you have to remind yourself they require patience.

Thank you, Natalia! Your transition goal-setting framework is very helpful!

Thankyou for this video Dr Z, I have found this advice very inspirational. I have been in a slow transition this past 7 months yoyoing with my hormones. I have finally realized that I want surgery and I need to be on hormones for at least one year to qualify for this. This video has given me clarity and a realization that I want to live as my authentic self. I am 54 and I hope I haven't left it to late.

to be honest i never considered setting goals up untill a few days ago as i realise thati have been beating around the bush trying to figure it out and in a sense i have grown complacent and inaficient as i burn energy on endevurs that ultimately do not help me get closer to my goal, i have becom for the past year anxiously avoidant (and comfortable within this gray area of numbing comfort despite knowing its not what i want in life ) and out of that anxious avoidance to life and transtion , i have grown to complacent but i have realized for a while that this cant go on as it is ,the fact is i need help and guidance and goal setting is probably the way to go to stay consistant and get closer to the end goal, thank you so much for sharing your videos this has been a great help

I personally have made some goal's for coming out but they rely on the change HRT will have on me with time. I am just over my 3 month start and on my first full week of the Dr. Reviewing my labs and green lighted increasing my meds to kick it into overdrive as she said. So I am hoping that between 12-16 months it will be obvious that something is happening to me like namely my hair growth. I started this with a head I shaved twice a week for 20yrs and it has already grown more than I ever thought it would and I mean like where hair lose had took place and I am going to have a full head of hair that in itself I am extremely excited about and just from past experiences I no it takes about 10-12 months to be able to pull it back in a ponytail so I want to at least not look like an octagon fighter before I can start to come out. Because it's not like I live in a metropolis I live in the rural Ozarks where everyone knows everyone and is a family member of some kind so it is a bit of a tricky situation because if I just came out today people would honestly think I should be committed to a hospital and have to prove myself sain and put myself in a world of shit where right now I'm perfectly happy with no drama in my life so my plan is to just be patient and see what happens. Does that make since.? As always great advice Dr.Z

Thank you for reminding me! I am taking steps and I'm content with them, but I'm taking these steps out of fear instead of growth. One of my goals is to be more comfortable with my identity. A maintenance goal is that I write affirmations about my girlhood every night before I go to bed. A stretch goal is that I'm gonna ask a group of friends this week to call me by my new name, so I can get more used to my identity. Another goal is that I wanna feel comfortable in my own body. One of the things I'm doing now is laser hair removal. I wanna think of other steps I can take in the future, so I can be more specific on how I'm gonna move forward.

This was incredibly helpful to me. I am getting surgery which I've had an easy time for setting goals but was sort of adrift with other ideas. Stretch goals for post surgery are to exercise so I can change my body shape, changing wardrobe and making an appointment to discuss hormones.

Getting top surgery next month. Also started the process for changing my name. Those are pretty much my main goals. I also need to get back into therapy and may want to start voice training at some point but money and time and energy/motivation are kind of low for those

I've been doing with a system of having a big goal every year. Last year was getting on HRT, this year it's getting a hair transplant, next year will probably be voice training and if I'm lucky the year after that SRS>

HRT (including laser, just started meds) + Expression (personality and wardrobe) are my two big goals and all 3 strengthen each other in terms of my confidence. I think personality is dying to be let out and just needs HRT + wardrobe to make that switch. The biggest hurdle for me right now is clothing, partially because I wont be somewhere to safely explore that for a couple of months but also because its just hard in general. Expensive and have to order everything online. Maybe my goal for now could be building the courage to shop for stuff in person so that I can more quickly find stuff I like and wear it around the house full time (which exposes it to my friend / roommate which helps me normalize it socially)

Thanks Dr Z for another great video. I am a very goal oriented person. Most of my family has never understood this about me. This year I decided to put my remaining transition goals on the shelf in order to focus on my financial goals, because I’m in my sixties and retirement is on the immediate horizon. It seemed like a reasonable thing to do. Everything was going well till about April or May, when I reconnected with a group of friends after a long Covid interruption in our normal socializing. Two of my friends had had FFS, and they looked beautiful. I was envious! Now I felt compelled to put my transition goals front and center again. I started electrolysis and voice therapy, my two biggest sources of dysphoria. I could end up spending $1,000 per month and for many months in a row. This isn’t what I wanted at the beginning of this year. This isn’t responsible behavior. Why did I let my transition goals take over? Is it always going to be this way? Is my transition ever going to end? I’m feeling out of control.

This is a great tip.

This is so helpfull. I did something similar in my brain alredy but writing it dowm in some kind of journal is a good idea to see the progress. Thank you Dr. Z My goal is to minimise the disphoria and feel/loock more like me (strong, maskuline body, masc/fem mixed expression). A part of that Goal is to get a maskuline buffed uper body . A stretch goal is getting a mastectomy. A maintain goal is getting buffed. I serched a long time to find a sport that dont give me to much disphoria and give me some euphoria. Now that i found one (calisthenics) i need to do it regularly to achive and maintain the goal.

Like popcorn 🍿! Yes, I finally have enough hair on my chin to start growing the goatee of my dreams ( and they popped one after the other like popcorn, after 3 barren years 😝). My last goal was to get all the paperwork done in order to change my name and gender marker EVERYWHERE... it took me a year! Exhausting but worth it. I figured out how to change my eyeliner style to masculinize it, and get used to not apply it evey day but only for parties ( it sure is weird to be out there with a naked face the first year 😝). I still have to muster the will to loose a few pounds in order to further masculinize my figure... Fat does redistribute, but some of the fat is still stored in the wrong places 😅.

Matti. Yes I agree at my age my Cofidence is my femininity. I don’t have to prove anything to anybody. My wife has become very excepting except it’s not her thing for her to be male. I understand that she never showed any traits. Fortunately I have received a lot of help it took a long long time. Actually at 14 I had a choice from my parents. I was afraid of bullying. I already had learning issues and had to go to a special school. Most of my learning issues. Became very manageable by the Home school district. So I worked out at a resource room. With very little help. But they kept by scrambled thoughts on track. This was important for me to represent myself as female. Over my Life Ihave been attacked. But I am very strong I was always able to control the situation. Like that now honey I have a headache. Plus I was not ready still Not. I have a boyfriend that really likes me for who I am. I am making a decision of opening up to him. It has a Perceived cis male I was always complemented on how big my breast are. Especially my nipples. Have been asked to wear two shirts lol . I wear a C right now. So breast are not a concern . I have run off to SoPHARA. They will be glad to help with make up. I also had a lady friend help me. Make up is not cheap but I’ll tell you it will bring the women out of you and give you confidence with a nice wig and a nice outfit. With shoes gives you so much confidence in who and what you are. That it is unbelievable. Also making sure. That you take care of body hair. Although there are a lot of hairy women. Oh my God. Just observe women at least once you’d like and appreciate try to emulate how they walk how they talk be an observer how they handle their hands all the worlds a stage but we are merely the actors. So walk like a woman act like a woman be a woman. Dysphoria is a state of mind. We are merely going down our journey. To transition. In order for us to build confidence. In ourselves as we wish to be by choice. Why would somebody wanna pick on somebody with a mental disorder. Why would somebody pick on somebody that has a learning Challenge. Why would somebody shun somebody with cancer. Or any other disease. I don’t understand peoples ability to not understand about Reaserch for aids . The shame should be on us. But uneducated people that don’t understand about our situation. People tend to oversimplified. They tend to categorize. Along with that though are very intense feelings. Because they are willing to listen to your plight it is much simpler to judge. With very limited information. I have run into the situation. We will always run into this problem. If you’re not welcomed or you’re not welcomed. Or you don’t feel safe you’re a sixth sense are your intuition is telling you the situation is not safe to begin with don’t go there. Period. I do believe in order to start hormoans. You have to set up an appointment for the surgery. I have read that when it comes up to it a lot of trans women do not opt for the surgery. I do believe I heard that from Dr. Z. I also heard not from Dr. Z. That look at the health problems that your mom grandmom sister. Have. Because what’s your own HRT you will more than likely develop the same problems. The plus side of your female side of your family. Are the size of their breasts. I to believe that all is said and done. That you more than likely end up being close to the same size. I also read before going for breast implants that you should wait till the tissue for your breast reach maximum or close size I do believe there is a waiting period . Especially if you are on HRT. If you’re not planning on HRT. Breast implants if you wish. But if you go on HRT. You’re going to grow natural breast . If you’re looking for information go to the UCLA. There are other very good medical centers that have KZfaq channels. Dr. Z is a good start. Soon I will be seeing an enchronologist. This is a doctor that manages hormone treatments. Also remember you’re going to have a gynecologist. Besides a gender therapist. Right now cost for every specialist. Cost hundreds of dollars it’s not free. To do it the cheaper way is to accentuate what you already have. If you’re young start stacking money away. If you’re young. When you’re ready for college. I would take a lot of financial subjects so you know how to invest your money. Even before you go to college. Learn how to invest your money. There are books on the subject study study study. It could help you learn how to make money. To help you along your journey. So I would say get good grades in school. Work in achieve. That way you’ll be able to follow your lifes dream. This is what you can do when you’re young. That and keeping your weight down. Working on your strength and your body. Your manner of dress . Also what I have heard when you were younger. It’s too wait till you are at least done with college especially if mom and dad are paying for it. If you have to do it earlier than this you’re going to have to go through the school you’re going to have to visit A lot of psychologist evaluators just to make sure you’re on the right course with your life because you’re young. So I would suggest till You’re independent. Be patient. Deal with what you can. I know I’ve been there done that. If you’re not going to college. I’d wait to your legal age and out on your own. You’ll have to find a job that will accept transgender‘s. There are companies out there that will more than willing to. But still be careful of wolves in sheep‘s clothing. Well that’s all I have to say for now everybody good luck with your journey this is just stuff I picked up on the Internet. I hope it sounds logical. PS try to find some support groups. I have joined A Rainbow seniors Group. There is a long story. Part of our history. But I would have to make this 10 times longer maybe 100 times to explain our struggles with the LBTTQ community in my area. But that’s for another time somewhere else other than this platform thank you Dr. Z love you.

Amazing video as always

I don't really have stretch goals at the minute because they are more hoops to jump through, so maintenance goals first just found a hair removal specialist for trans people like myself to be ready for bottom surgery when my day comes. Really great content, love this channel helps a lot with life and struggles. And also to get top surgery do you have to have had hormones or not because I'm worried I don't have enough breast tissue?

For me, my transition goals are to have gender reassignment surgery along with small ( B Cup) breast surgery. The main thing is that even though I am approaching 58 years old & would be approaching menopause. Instead of the regular gender reassignment surgeries offered, I would like to have a transplant surgery from a donor female for the outer genitals & the complete internal female reproductive organs. That means a lot to me. BTW laser hair removal on the face is very painful & expensive & laser hair removal in the genital area will be very painful. The person I have doing my laser hair removal in the genital area might be using Zip-Loc bags of ice to help relieve some of the pain & make it more comfortable. We will have to see. Over the last 3 months I have seen half of the beard growth than I had before. The main problem area will always be the mustache area since the skin is very sensitive & there are a lot more hair follicles in that area than any other place on your face.

I have full coverage insurance,do you have any recommendations in the 805?just asking

Rn my transition goal is to be able to confidently wear a 2-pc Bikini for summer next year

Does voice training work at all without hormons?

What’s the difference between achieving full congruence vs achieving ‘an element’ of passability?

I like the explanation but for me I cannot financially afford things that are stretch goals such as surgery like breast augmentation or facial feminisation surgery..

interestingly, the first youtube recommendation on this video was John Cleese's "how to irritate people" :)

I’m confused. Why is there so much focus on body positivity, but not when it comes to this. Should we not love the bodies we are in?

use 'break' and not 'brake', ok? a brake refers to stopping a vehicle/bicycle...

Goal #1: Don't.