Thanks for all your insights and advice. I’m a senior and accept totally the fact that I’m a transgender woman. I live openly as much as possible and at my age I’m very grateful for that. I’m still learning how not to hate my situation. In my heart of hearts I have always been trans. However, I have never entertained the idea of body modification other than things like ears pierced. This has helped me in determining that I’m not transsexual. Point being there isn’t any timetable for Transness or hierarchy of steps, it’s completely individual,finding one’s level of peace and knowing that your results for yourself may be different but no less valid. Peace

I will also add that I agree with you Dr Z. If someone wants to live as a woman with male genitals or man with female genitals, then i dont see an issue. People should have the opportunity to live as they see fit, not from some ignorant societal influence.

This was probably the most confusing part of realizing that i was trans. I felt so blah and neutral about being male and my genitals, and they say that cisgender people dont think about their gender...so i took that as a sign that i was cis. But my trans journey manifests as me trying different female things out and seeing if they make me happy and euphoric. I guess this is what people mean when they say that they're "finding themselves"...i feel like most times im blindly finding out what works for me. It makes me kinda question how i REALLY feel about my genitals. Will i experience euphoria by getting bottom surgery? Am i missing out on another layer of peace and happiness if i don't get it? Its something for me to think about. I wish there was a way i could "try out" female genitalia, to see if its something that resonates with me and brings euphoria.

I'm about 4.5 years into transition, and almost 1 year post-GRS, and when I started out, I didnt hate what was going on down there. But I kept my mind open to the possibility that I might feel different. About a year into HRT, the genital dysphoria reared its ugly head, and I got on the wait list. Over the couple years I was waiting, the dysphoria steadily grew worse, and while "hate" is a bit too strong of a word, I felt it definitely didnt belong, and every time I saw myself naked in the mirror, there was a strong feeling like I hadn't made much progress at all with that still there. That's not even touching on how I was more comfortable keeping my panties on, and hiding that part of myself even from my lovers, and trying to ignore the damned thing. I'm glad I got on that waiting list when I did. It really did get worse over time. And to think, starting out, I was fairly alright with it

I tried to commit suicide by cutting off my genitals in an attack of dysphoria in my denial phase. After that, I went to the psychiatrist, I ended up accepting myself and making the transition and they allowed me to have sexual resignation surgery after a year and a half. This was 16 years ago.

I actually kind of like my genitals. I'm approaching 3 years on HRT and I still intend to keep that part of myself the way it is. The only part I have any negative feelings about is that they limit my wardrobe options somewhat. I do often feel like an outsider though because I've met so few other trans women who feel the same.

I definitely experienced the dormancy effect. I have always felt neutral towards my genitals (I'm MtF). As I moved through my transition, the dysphoria and dysmorphia increased. I don't hate them, but I am not comfortable with my current genitalia.

6:52 here I am haha. years after kinda realizing. I ran away from it, and I told myself that narrative. “If I don’t absolutely hate my body to the point that I can’t go on” that what I felt wasn’t ‘true’ or that it wasn’t enough. Thank you so much for your videos, they have been a tremendous help as I’ve been fighting doubt and mental blocks to figure out who I am. I truly believe you are doing such a great service posting these for everyone!

So true. I didn't HATE having a penis, I just HATED not having a vagina. I'm now nearly 69,with a terminal illness and filled with both regret AND relief that I didn't transition. I found out 20 years ago that I have an intersex condition called Mild Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. This answered a LOT of questions about why I was like I am, and obviously,finding that it's one's brain that decides one's gender, rather than one's chromosomes or genitals answered a load more. Thanks for sharing your knowledge. Love, Tina. XXX

I was waiting for this video ❤

I'm one of the one's who hates what I have and thanks to you and Dr.Alexis and now the Cleaveland clinic that just gave me my vaginaoplasty consultation and surgery in December I won't have this to worry about much longer. I haven't messed around with my 19th month of transition at 56yo now.🎉🎉 Oh the white nails look good on you Dr. Z.

I think I'm trans masculine, because I definitely feel social dysphoria and body dysphoria about my chest, hips, voice, etc. But I continue to tell myself (even if I'm starting micro dose testo) that I'm not really trans because I don't care about my genitalia. Worst, I like the sexual pleasure, and it makes me doubt so much some time if I'm even trans. I don't like how it gives me the sensation of being a "woman" but it's just what it is. I don't like that part particularly, but I like what it gives me..

I don't hate them and i never really did, but it seem ive been trying to get rid of them since forever. When i was a kid they annoyed me enough that i asked my doc to have them removed (how this didn't raise more red flags i do not know), and befor coming to terms with my identity there was generally this desire to have different genitals coupled to the feeling that i was dissatisfied with my own but i just felt i had to accept what id been given. Lately though these feelings have cristallized somewhat, and im finding that while i have had periods of intense disgust/panic over my own genitals, i mostly just feel disconnected from them, like they aren't supposed to be there, that they're a foreign growth on my body, that they're ugly...sometimes i feel like if i were to just pull them off id find a vagina underneath, which is a very weird feeling

I know this feeling, I had no prob with my genitals, until after growing my hair out and hormones started to change my body, as my dysphoria in other areas disappeared, my genital dysphoria started, I wasn't going to get surgery, but now it is really important (and approved by my health plan)

I had the dormancy effect. I remember distinctly telling my therapist that I didn't have a problem, and now my surgery can't come fast enough. I'm being forced into a psychological assessment before being approved.

Ambivalence, apathy, neutrality, or whatever you want to call it can often be worse than outright hating something. If you hate something, it's a very obvious passionate feeling, and thus you're more inclined to pay attention to where those feelings are taking you. Ambivalence though can lead to assuming nothing is wrong, and ignoring problems with physical and mental health until they become serious. Ambivalence is what led me to self-neglect and SH. I didn't care about my body, therefore I let illnesses and injuries accumulate. I disassociated to the point where it felt like I was piloting around a broken down machine. In some ways, a feeling of hate might have made things easier, because I would have known from an earlier age and could have done something about it before it got this bad. I'm doing something about my transition now though, and that's what matters.

Thanks Dr Z! I definitely don't hate my genitals... i feel as if it was the first part of me to transition because it's "behavior" changed from penetrative to merely stimulative. To me, it became a version or variation of a female organ!

This was me. The two things that held me back the longest, from admitting that I am a transgender woman, are the facts that I’m attracted to women, and I do not hate my genitals. Everything became much simpler, once I realized that neither of these were actual issues.

I do not hate my genitals. I just wish they were different because then they would be typically more congruent with whom I really am. With genitals different from what I was born with, I also would be able to experience my sexuality more authentically. I am conflicted about going through with GRS because it is a complicated process and I feel I would be losing a friend I lived with for many years. If I had a partner I loved and we wanted to enjoy a sexual relationship aligned with how I identify, I would probably feel less conflicted about having GRS.

When I was a kid, before I learned that boys and girls had different parts, I didn’t give my parts much thought. After I learned that, I was more apathetic about my bits. I never really had any positive feelings about them. Once I transitioned and started pursuing bottom surgery, my dysphoria got a lot worse. The closer I get to surgery (scheduled in April!), the more I hate the parts I have -_- Just 6 more months!

I'm actually nonbinary AFAB. I most definitely don't feel neutral about my genitalia. I think if I were AMAB, I would have tried to cut off my genitalia as a child, but I've always felt really alienated from my secondary sex characteristics, and I feel uncomfortable and disgusted sometimes when I hear my voice. I hear my voice sometimes and instantly I have an out of body experience. I've also always had social dysphoria. My name, adjectives, nouns, eventually pronouns, but still these are just the genitals I am comfortable with, and its not the full picture.

I look at my body and tilt my head slightly and say hmm... How odd... That is not my body.

I do not hate my male genitals. I just don't like how they "get in the way" of wearing any type of ladies fitted skirts, pants, or trousers that I would like to wear. I don't like the bulge, so as I progress in my transition I will practice tucking. Right now tucking is not comfortable and it just makes me more aware of my gentials. I have no thoughts about my genitals when I am wearing a flare dress or a skirt. I don't see any bulge.

I never hated or had any strong negative feelings towards my genitals, it just felt kind of foreign, like it's weird that it's there. I was also very self-conscious about showing any visible bulge, I felt like a disgusting freak if my junk was at all perceptible, and I did my best to hide it when possible. I also thought that girls were lucky because they could wear clothes that fit their body without having to hide anything, and never had to deal with unwanted erections. I also remember standing in front of the mirror and tucking to see what it would look like (I really liked what I saw) and imagining myself with a female body, long before I knew anything about trans people. Now that I've accepted myself as trans I understand that these were all signs of bottom dysphoria. It's still too early to say for sure, but I think I will probably end up getting bottom surgery at some point in the future.

I'm 21 and I realized that I'm transgender 3 months ago. I never felt comfortable with my genitals, but there was no real dislike or hate prior to that realization. Since then, the dislike is steadily growing and it feels like it might turn into hate soon.

I had a neutral opinion of my genitals until i started hrt and then as i looked at things and my history it became apparent. At that point the dysphoria grew more intrusive. Im genderfluid and i would say my bottom surgery was more about my genital dysphoria as opposed to gender related.

I,m a 63 year old disabled veteran who has just started to transition and this is a topic my doctor brought up to me. All my life I hated my genital and wished I didn't have them.

Doctors here say that, psychologist, "gender experts". It's used as a reason to decline a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. Same with "if you've not known you were transgender from a very early age you can't be transgender". The official diagnostic standards here are still based on the DSM 3 and 4 definitions, pathologising gender dysphoria as a mental disease, with a very strong desire on the part of healthcare authorities to decide it doesn't exist and everyone "claiming to be transgender" must be faking it. We've moved on from the requirement to undergo GRS in order to be recognised as transgender, but not by much. It's now got to where you pretty much have to at least WANT GRS to be considered transgender, which at least helps those of us who are medically incapable of undergoing the procedure because of underlying medical conditions, but still a lot of transgender people here (and a lot of medical professionals) refuse to accept those transgender people who aren't wanting to get their genitals surgically altered or removed as transgender. And there are even still those who do not consider anyone who hasn't had their genitals removed as transgender, so people still in transition aren't by them considered transgender at all. I don't personally "hate" my genitals, but I do experience a mild shock when seeing or feeling them, as they're something that shouldn't be there but is. Probably similar (in reverse) to what amputees experience when they get reminded that they're missing a limb. And I'll be in that state for years to come, maybe for the rest of my life, giving the extreme gatekeeping and waiting lists for transgender care here, and the general decline in healthcare in this country, especially healthcare for the elderly (which I'll fall under by the time I get through those waiting lists and be legally allowed to undergo GRS were it not for my age).

when my egg cracked, just over a year ago, I never hated my body, but I knew I needed to transition. so I suppose I would be one of the neutral people you mention. recently, I have noticed a change in how I feel about my body. two weeks ago, I reached the stage in my transition, where I felt that my hair was now long enough to be styled - removing the need for the wigs I have been wearing for the past year, on a daily basis. I took the leap, and apart from a little appreciation at first, I have been using my natural hair for the past two I feel great about it. its long enough to form a short Bob style - not a full-on Edna, like yourself (joke! 😉), but a Bob that utilises a natural wave that I didn't know I had. My air is starting to feel a bit like a double-edged sword. in that, when I was presenting as female for the past year, being aided by both wig and false silicone chest, I felt neutral about mybody. But, now there's no need for wigs, this has focused my mind to the only false element of my presentation - the chest! I am increasingly find a growing feeling of hating that moment when it time for bed and the chest has to be removed. this past year handed me a full-house of toxic working environment, the loss of friends and family, and recently the need to start over, due to a toxic home environment as well. it has taken this long to finally be in a position where I can start to take my transition to the next step and start hormones. this will help alleviate the growing stress about still needing to use a false chest. Will it then awaken negative feelings about lower down - who knows, but I know I don't want to be reliant on a false chest, to enable to feel comfortable being me!

For me its more that its what ive got and I dont completely hate them so it doesnt feel worth the cost and complication risk

Thanks for this video. I have different relationships with my genitals at different times. Is there anyway you can control what adds show up in your videos? I just saw an anti trans ad for the Epoch Times. Thanks.

Can you be aware it's dormant while it's still dormant? I like picturing myself without it, but I feel neutral towards it.

In fact, if a trans person does not experience gender dysphoria about their genitals, they are very lucky. You can't even imagine how much.

If I could be rid of them tomorrow, I would do so without hesitation. I would happily replace them with male parts. But that is different to a few years ago. Then, I didn't like them, but was more accepting that it is what I was born with. I used to joke about wishing I could take them off and put them on a shelf for when I wanted to use them. Looking back, that may have been a sign lol

I don't hate my genitals. Actually, for most of my time, I didn't even notice that they weren't feeling right for me. I attribute that to my facial and body hair being such a HUGE dysphoria trigger. I didn't notice any other issues, until I dealt with that hair. Now that my hair is gone, or at least most of the way gone, I've been noticing other things that definitely don't feel right. HRT had given me breasts that I was glad to have, but BA gave me a feeling of completeness there. I'm very much looking forward to my GCS in a few weeks. I don't know what the feelings will be after that, but I know that it is the right decision for me to be taking.

I feel like I'm kinda neutral on my genitals. I dont hate them, but I do plan to have bottom surgery. They only time they bother me is when i want to wear something cute only to find they dont really make that work so well. When im at home it doesn't seem to bother me most of the time.

I don't feel my genitalia, it's like numb, so I'm neutral. However I think maybe because of habit, I would not feel pleasure if I get SRS. So in this case I think I like it, despite being able to feel an vagina below my genitalia if I think about it or suddenly (wich are more common). I think I have more dysphoria about not feeling my feminine energy, maybe because of testosterone? I don't know. My appearance, specially my face and body hair, also make me feel dysphoric (my hair maybe is more important than my face or body hair though 😅).

I'm kind of ambivalent about my genitals. I am a trans woman and I identify as a lesbian so what I was born with seems more sexually compatible for me but also I think how nice an orchiectomy would be. I am new to allowing myself to be trans though as I only stopped repressing about 2 months ago and haven't even started HRT, so who knows what will change down the line.

I'm nonbinary femme, binary trans curious, and AMAB. Depending on the day, I am quite fond of, feel neutral towards, or dislike (but never hate) my genitals. I worry that, if I go on hormones, the atrophy of my genitals will make that range of feelings more negative (part of why I think I might be binary trans). I don't expect to ever have the kind of money necessary for bottom surgery, and the procedure sounds frightening, besides.

I have dysphoria for sure ❤ and due to your channel I became aware of it ... I'm just coping with it .. I don't have genitalia dysphoria and I'm sure I won't have if I transition ... I want to be shemale ... Because I like having sex I'm verse in sex ... ❤

i’ve been transitioning 4 1/2 years doctor through HRT. I really feel nothing about my genitals at all. I mean they’re there I go to the washroom with them in fact, being an HRT they really don’t do much of anything at all or just small and shrunken really doesn’t matter to me

I (AMAB) remember thinking, until I was about 8 or 9 years old, that everyone had male genitalia (wasn't aware of that fancy term though back then). I'm 44 now. After the difference had been revealed for me, the dysphoria was pretty intense for some time. Nowadays I don't care much about it. The reason for not caring is that I actually identify as non-binary in a way that there is no mental counterimage of what genital equipment I should have. I also do believe I'm on the autistic spectrum, which possibly underlies my xenoposition in relation to gendersystem.

Been their. I had to stop and think about it . Over my 64. Years. I always wondered. What it would be like not to have my genitals. Well so dysphoria has come and gone because I was so good at suppressing my those feelings. That I have still today. I wear womens clothing now I’m out as trans but I like pronouns to be she her. unfortunately for me lack of hair makes it a little difficult not impossible . The other thing is the bulge. I can’t wear tight clothing or bathing suit with out the bulge.

I am a 69 year old and I feel I want to be a more feminine person?? what ever that means. I have the last couple of months been presenting as a woman 24/7 except at my 'main ' job. It is to much work to keep the feminine look 100% at work, although I have , over 2 years, colored nails almost all the time, my hair is in a pony tail (otherwise would be a few inches down my back) and often wear large earrings. Myself I do wish I had real looking feminine breasts, but what is between my legs I don't care except when wearing certain clothes I wish my body would present a more feminine look. AND some clothes, specially some cute panties I cannot wear because it doesn't keep my junk in place. Some 'restraining wear' feels very uncomfortable after a short while. Down the road if I do decide to go on hrt the desire for more surgeries might become stronger but for now I am very happy where I am.

I'm early in transition and waiting on approval for an orchiectomy. I consider my testicles to be diseased unwanted organs that nearly killed me, and I want them gone. I'm ambivalent toward my penis. I don't really experience dysphoria, but don't feel connected to it or want it. It's just there. When I'm ready I'll get SRS.

Hit and miss for me. 11 years ago wanted to destroy the ability to get an er....ion. I also hate the word which is why I didn't write it. Ended up urinating blood on and off for about 6 years. Wouldn't recommend it. Other thoughts and methods have entered my head and won't say anymore cos again wouldn't recommend it but personally not ruled out. Guess not so hit and miss now that I'm writing this.

I'm neutral about my genitals. I would like to have matching genitals with my gender identity, but our current technology can't give me the results I want, so I'm fine with living with what I have. I do have days where I'm not comfortable with them, but it's only a minor discomfort. I do NOT like my breasts however. I've managed to not be mad abut having them all the time, but I still don't like them very much.

At the beginning I was sure everybody has a little tube to pee. After all men and women have a nose, two eyes, two feet and one mouth, the hair on the head, all the same. Fortunately I enjoyed to be a boy, I was always running, riding a bicycle, deep down I was a happy and lively child but I thought I was a woman. growing up, at various ages I discovered other things, the dysphoria changes but luckily I really liked being a boy. I have had many girlfriends but I was bi and always dressing more feminine than them. I felt envious of my g/f, I wanted to be in their place...the age of testosterone, between 11 and 20 y/o has been very confused,..

Maybe it goes back to the ancient galli priests who would sever their genitals. If they survived they would become priestess. Thank you Dr Z love your channel.

This is interesting. My penis I definitely don't hate. My Testosterone however I definitely Do hate and have done for many years. So, by extension I had thought I must hate my testicles, the producer of testosterone. Now I am confused.