The truth about how I feel since having a baby

Рет қаралды 78,368

2 жыл бұрын

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Пікірлер: 330

@CookieMiller 2 жыл бұрын

“It makes me very aware that I can’t afford to fail.”Whew! Felt that. Thanks for your vulnerability.

@jackelynlopez96 2 жыл бұрын

This might sound weird but this video made me happier. Seeing the strong, beautiful, successful woman I’ve looked up to for years being so vulnerable made me feel like I’m not alone in my struggles. I appreciate your honesty and openness so much! I will forever support you and your family cause what all of you have brought to my life is priceless ❤️

@JessSwnd 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for being so honest about the realities of having a baby. People talk about it in such a flowery way, but there are real concerns and difficulties that go with it.

@acd1168 2 жыл бұрын

Who? I haven’t met these people.

@Nah-ah 2 жыл бұрын

@@acd1168 can you meet people across the planet, around the world? you’d be surprised how many people are struggling with parenthood!

@acd1168 2 жыл бұрын

@@Nah-ah I am not surprised. What I am surprised by is OP said some people talk about it in a flowery way and I haven’t met these people

@elvinmay54 2 жыл бұрын

"I love my child; I don't love being a mother. " The day I said that out aloud was freeing. I don't particularly feel mum guilt but I do feel suffocating sometimes. I want my own time more and more.

@jae9581 2 жыл бұрын

I feel that so much I miss my self before caring for others.

@maymayrays 2 жыл бұрын

I wasn’t wholly cared for as a kid, so now as a mother, I have a hard time figuring out how to care for others. Becoming nurturing has been a (painful) journey for me. As my kids get older (they are 7 and 9 now), I find myself moving from just loving them to actually liking them, more and more. But, yeah, it didn’t come naturally at all.

@DomQ.0 2 жыл бұрын

I felt this at my core. Like I don't want my son out of my life I just don't want the responsibility. That's one of the reasons I had postpartum depression.

@maymayrays 2 жыл бұрын

@@DomQ.0 🖤

@danielleking8520 2 жыл бұрын

WOW. I respect that! I'm not a mother, but I sometimes feel like a lot of women don't tell the truth.

@RichnReneeJ 2 жыл бұрын

Can we just talk about how PPA, Post Partum Anxiety, isn't acknowledged as much as PPD? It's just such a real and debilitating thing to go through. 2 kids in.. 9 years later and I'm still dealing with it. Thank for this Shannon. I will be signing up for Better Help.

@18iole 2 жыл бұрын

It's never too late for therapy! Nothing to be embarrassed about. You made the best decision ever, we are proud of you. 💜 Thank you for spreading awareness on how important this is!

@nikjonestravel 2 жыл бұрын

You wanting your mom is not selfish, that was like the realest moment in the video for me. Sometimes you just need your mom. Wishing you the best going forward with therapy!

@lexilion16 2 жыл бұрын

Yes lol I call it "calling in the big guns" moms just have a way of knowing and being everything you need sometimes and giving comfort like no other. When everything is going wrong no one knows what's best for you or how to help you like your mom. Everyone has has a moment where you have to acknowledge that you need her again

@shellyb.8387 2 жыл бұрын

@@lexilion16 Amen. Nothing is the world compares to the comfort of mom

@honeysmile320 2 жыл бұрын

I completely understand. Im seeking therapy for myself. I became a new mom Dec 2020 to a premature baby and I recently lost my mom April 2021. Stay strong. We'll all get through this. 😊

@taneshareedkinard8144 2 жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear this mama! Peace and blessings love.

@honeysmile320 2 жыл бұрын

@@taneshareedkinard8144 Thank you. Same to you.

@shanboody 2 жыл бұрын

I can’t imagine how heavy it is to carry these realities so close together . Thank you for sharing and wow you are so strong and resilient

@honeysmile320 2 жыл бұрын

@@shanboody Thank you. Im trying to be. On top of everything else, im going through a break up after 10 years. I've come to realize this is apart of my journey and to accept the new shift in my life. Thank you for putting yourself out there unapologetically and showing that there's no limits to self love including seeking therapy. It helps more people than you know.😊

@jhoale2551 2 жыл бұрын

YES YES YES! I too am a first time parent with an 8 month old (almost 9 month) baby and I've been so afraid to voice these feelings out loud to even my partner. There is so much sacrifice and so much of yourself to give when you become a parent! And it feels so selfish to think "what about me?" I know I'm not a bad mom, but damn it feels that way sometimes.

@Jeannette03 2 жыл бұрын

I have a 1 year old and this is exactly hoe I feel! Anxiety has hit so much. And that's exactly how I feel when I take 5 mins for myself 😔 sigh being a mom is rough

@elektradelatorre8352 2 жыл бұрын

Is tough. Just know that I and many other moms feel the same way. I feel so much shame after admitting that 😣. I have a 1 year old and I keep saying he will grow fast and I think I will love that stage better in his life and also would give me more space as well. I love my baby so much tho

@LifeSoDevine 2 жыл бұрын

I bawled my eyes out the whole time you were talking. I’ve never really heard anyone put into words how i felt that well. Thank you for that

@elektradelatorre8352 2 жыл бұрын

Yes!!!! I was just talking to my mom about this and luckily she understands

@maymayrays 2 жыл бұрын

I didn’t realize it until it was over, but I had real depressive symptoms as my babies slowly weaned onto solid foods. Turns out that _I_ was weaning from the oxytocin rush that accompanies nursing for a lot of women, and it had real consequences for my mental health. So, in addition to the overall soul-crushing changes that come with motherhood, in general, consider the chemical changes happening with your biology, too. Also, your dream is spot-on I think. My kids are now 7 & 9, and they are WAY easier for me to mother, and I finally really, really enjoy mothering them. It’s a joy now, and it was hard as hell even 2 short years ago. You’ve got this - hang in there 🖤

@crackasscrackle 2 жыл бұрын

I didn't know there was a come down from decrease in oxytocin when babies wean off?!!! Good to know

@maymayrays 2 жыл бұрын

@@crackasscrackle For me it definitely did. I know that for other women, breastfeeding can cause physical aversion, giving them nausea or a skin crawling feeling. In that case, stopping breastfeeding can be the best choice ever for mom. Every woman is different - but I had never heard of breastfeeding “withdrawal” before it happened to me, and I’m sure it’s part of the momming rollercoaster for a lot of women.

@icycici 2 жыл бұрын

@@maymayrays You are definitely correct!! I had DMER when i was breastfeeding and it was mind blowing how physiological responses affected me psychologically. I felt repulsed and i had this "dark cloud" over me when I nursed & pumped; then as soon as i stopped i would feel normal again... it was insane!!! Breastfeeding IS HARD but to suffer mentally and emotionally while my child depended on me was overwhelming. I had to get help!!

@maymayrays 2 жыл бұрын

@@icycici I’m so glad you did!! My mother-in-law had this, and one of my close friends, and it sounds like a damn nightmare 😞 I can’t imagine having this barrier to feeding my child on top of all the other challenges you face as a new mom. I hope it worked out for you and your babe 🖤

@icycici 2 жыл бұрын

@@maymayrays Thank you and it did work out!! Having to confess it as problem was the hard part, plus there's hardly any info out there about breastfeeding pathology!!!

@formerlyfoote3380 2 жыл бұрын

Everyone needs therapy. 🗣📣 PERIODT!!!

@Sunnie5561 2 жыл бұрын

Girl, I FEEL YOU!! I have a two-month-old and sometimes I just pitch up out of my sleep and look at him in my bassinet. It's a lot to deal with as a new mom and on top of that, we have no family to help us. Hopefully, my mom can come to visit to help us when the borders open.

@TaraCreel 2 жыл бұрын

So many things perfectly said. I’ve always said I don’t regret my kids FOR A SECOND, but if I lived a second life I wouldn’t make the choice to have kids again. For no other reason than my mental health. It’s all day, every day worry, anxiety, guilt. Am I doing enough, am I raising them in a way that will encourage goodness and kindness, will they grow up and struggle with the same anxiety I struggle with…. It’s a massive toll on my body and mind that I fight every day to keep them from seeing/feeling.

@JenellBStewart 2 жыл бұрын

Oh Shan … I soooo feel you! I called for my mom sooo many times. So much so, she retired early and came and moved into my home! She left my step dad for over a year and would go visit him every few months for about 3-4 weeks then come back to live with us. After the 2nd year, we remodeled our unfinished basement into a beautiful apartment for my mom AND step dad, to live in. My kids are now 7 and 9 - I don’t know what id do without her.

@Msmackenzie 2 жыл бұрын

As a therapist myself , I have worked in social service for at this point, half of my life. I am an advocate for therapy. Modern life has soooo many pitfalls and pressures. Also, I don't want children and I have needed therapy to grapple with the implication of that too. There are implications to those who choose to have children and those who choose not to have children.

@kelebeksky 2 жыл бұрын

Why did you need therapy?

@kelebeksky 2 жыл бұрын

@ash do you have children?

@Msmackenzie 2 жыл бұрын

@@kelebeksky I needed therapy to grapple with the fact that as the only child, and the fact that I've lost both my parents, that once I pass on, there would be no legacy for me or anyone to carry on my family name. The thought of that was scary to me and I had to wrestle with that. I have since realized that my legacy can be a number of things, not just leaving the world with humans to carry forth.

@Msmackenzie 2 жыл бұрын

@@demyoutubers LOL Yes, I definitely appreciate my level of freedom and I don't feel any pressure to cook or do anything I don't want to do. I am happy with my decision but there are those fleeting times when I wonder...

@kelebeksky 2 жыл бұрын

Sending you much love 💘 ❤ I am in a similar situation too

@fbibabe1187 2 жыл бұрын

After I had my 1st baby, I felt exactly the same. I felt like I went into shock. I just thought to myself, "Omg... I have this tiny human that needs to go with me everywhere." I couldn't just hop in the car and "go" anymore. It took me months to come to terms with it. Now, I've just had my 2nd child and I haven't had any Postpartum Depression/Baby Blues. I hope that talking with someone helps you Shan! I didn't have anyone to talk to and definitely didn't have the financial means to do so professionally at the time. So, if you have that opportunity, don't pass it up! 🥰

@ermtnz 2 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU for saying "mourning the loss of my single and free self" 🙌🏽 I felt so alone in that thought, as though I wasn't allowed to think it. If I say that out loud people just look at me funny whenever I am being honest and mention this, and I can tell that they're thinking that what I am saying is that I don't want the life I currently have, but that is not the case.

@maymayrays 2 жыл бұрын

Where were you when I first had my babies?!?? Ughhhh all of what you’re saying is resonating with me, hard. Putting these ideas out into the world is really, really important. Thank you 🙏🏼 🖤

@msz9523 2 жыл бұрын

Just watching this video increased my emotional intelligence and self-awareness by 64%. Thank you Shan for opening a conversation many/all new moms should be having.

@Cocoa08948 2 жыл бұрын

I needed this today! Your pregnancy announcement a year ago was what made me think to take a test. Now to see you are also struggling postpartum, it feels so full circle.

@sofiatesic8908 2 жыл бұрын

This video feels so relatable even though I dont know what its like to be a mother. You articulate your thoughts and emotions in such a decisive manner and I really emphasize with your situation. Sending blessings for your therapeutic journey🙏❤️

@aorellana628 2 жыл бұрын

This transparency is so refreshing. Idk how this works but I feel seen through you.

@TiSA210 2 жыл бұрын

As a mental health therapist and new mom of a 9 month old, I feel so seen in you sharing this experience! My son is maybe 3 weeks molder than Ryu so as I’ve followed you through this journey we’re both on, your content has been exceptionally helpful to me. THANK YOU!

@p.o.p.presents 2 жыл бұрын

Shan this video is the best symbiotic relationship with a sponsor that I've ever seen. It's genuine. I love how transparent you are about your life, the ups, the downs, the peaks and valleys. It's inspiring to see what you guys are doing as a family.

@samanthamangla 2 жыл бұрын

I feel you too boo. I completely understand what you're going through. It will be okay 😉

@victoriawilliams2088 2 жыл бұрын

It’s like everything you described about motherhood is exactly how I feel but could not articulate. Thanks for sharing

@1hanakimi 2 жыл бұрын

I’m no one’s mother yet but having had worked as a preschool/daycare teacher (for ages 0-5) and being an Aunt to 3 nephews, that fear and fight or flight thing really sticks with you!

@kaitlynmichal6346 2 жыл бұрын

As a new mom to a 9 month old, this video is soooooo relatable. I was fortunate enough to have to my mom with me from the delivery of my child and everyday after for the first couple months. Once my husband went back to work (overnights in the emergency room) and I was left alone with this infant I realized there is quite literally not enough time in the day, but I’m determined to figure out just how to make time for myself each and everyday because my life cannot only consist of me being a mother

@EmyT 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for always being so honest. Appreciate your candidness, always.

@aleg.a1895 2 жыл бұрын

Your vulnerability to share all of this is amazing! You always have such interesting and great content.

@Dionne.Photography 2 жыл бұрын

You are so honest and vulnerable! It's inspiring!

@angelughiovhe8461 2 жыл бұрын

This type of open and honest content is the reason why I started following you years ago! Glad you are taking the necessary steps to be self-full

@rileyreckenberg6942 2 жыл бұрын

This is probably one of my favorite videos of yours. Very helpful and insightful. Thank you 😊

@miaranee 2 жыл бұрын

DAMNNNNNN LOVE U GIRL FOR THE HONESTY! SOO RAW AND REAL

@PfEMP 2 жыл бұрын

I'll always admire you Shan for your candidness on this channel. I hope things get better for you soon! 💛

@oxjobros 2 жыл бұрын

Love love love that you made this video. Your transparency is always appreciated

@preciousmccullough109 2 жыл бұрын

I love love love your vulnerability. The realest social influencer I watch. I truly value your content.

@alexandrac9975 2 жыл бұрын

I really appreciated this video. Thank you for your vulnerability.

@nubiameryhor369 2 жыл бұрын

As a single mother, with still a mother to help me your testimony show me how bold, brave and blessed I am. But also how neglected, desesparate and constantly fighting I can be. So I will search my Therapy, because I interprete this video as a message from the Uni-verse to myself. Even if all that can give me the hell out of me, I can be proud and continue improving. I admire the freedom that you have and the generosity that you bring. Thank you from Guadeloupe

@alybee28 2 жыл бұрын

Yes Shan I feel you on so much of this!! I’m a mother of a 1 year old and motherhood is such a tough job. You’re amazing and thanks for sharing with us. Enjoy therapy 😊

@DrJudiC 2 жыл бұрын

That is awesome!!! Hope you have an awesome session. Sometimes we are so busy being busy we miss our own needs. The part where you mentioned calling in your mom to help definitely merits extra stars, confetti and highlighting because there are so many people out there missing out on engaging there support system. I was glad to hear you mention it and hope people took notes.

@FloridaTesfay 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for expressing how you feel, it unlocks some of hurt I've suppressed and it gives me something to think about in regards to my life

@domo4love 2 жыл бұрын

This was beautiful! I can’t really say much else, but thank you for sharing YOU in a very authentic way with us.

@jessicagrover402 2 жыл бұрын

As always thank you for always being so open, honest and vulnerable with us. It’s incredible. Im beyond grateful for it. I know I’m not the only one. So thank you Shan♥️

@simoneaustin8076 2 жыл бұрын

thank you for sharing. so much of what you expressed you feel, have to care about or go through sounds awful💔sounds even harder than i thought..

@nicole19555 2 жыл бұрын

Had a breakdown myself yesterday and I needed this so bad. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. Will continue to support you thru your all your phases of life! Love you Shan 💖

@kheilabrice295 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Shan. You’ve made me feel like I’m not alone. Though I know I’m not the only one experiencing these feelings, the pressure of being judged makes many of us who feel this way keep silent. So, thank you.

@EssKayWhat 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Shan, I’ve been watching you since I was 20/21 and now I’m 25. Your videos are always on time and super necessary. Just what I needed :)

@mia_f 2 жыл бұрын

Oh Shan. Thank you for sharing. You’re the coolest. 💗💗💗💗

@beckyevangelidis9812 2 жыл бұрын

Been here 3 times. You're doing more than you could ever know by sharing your vulnerability. Thank you.

@JobyJay 2 жыл бұрын

Shan, thank you for continuing to show your humanity to us. It’s so beautiful and relatable. Thank you for being vulnerable and allowing us to see ourselves through you. Thank you for saying the scary things.

@Bruna0330 2 жыл бұрын

I’m always so appreciative and inspired by your vulnerability Shay 🥺🌺💜

@veew2634 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing. You have given insight, and authentication to being a human on this earth. Keep pushing.

@simonecoleman1485 2 жыл бұрын

This was a very raw, very open video. I cried a little when you said you begged your Mom to come. You exude so much strength, and sometimes for those of us that are used to having it all together, it's EXTREMELY difficult to ask for help. Thank you for your transparency Shan. This really resonated with me, and it helps because I'm learning to express my feelings more. I used to bottle things up that bothered me, and I've been seeing the benefit of giving words to my feelings. Therapy was also a game changer for me. Sending you love and light!

@EverythingByDee 2 жыл бұрын

As always, thank you for always being so transparent with us 🥺 I feel much less alone in living through hard seasons when I hear other people sharing their experiences. Thank you for this!! ❤️

@AmbMonique 2 жыл бұрын

I loved everything about this video. I just joined Better Help and have my second session this week. We got this mama 💪🏼 stay strong!

@shailajones6279 2 жыл бұрын

Moms(including you Shan) are amazing! So happy you were able to admit you needed the help and your mom was able to come down to help and support

@johnblaze4464 2 жыл бұрын

Your honesty and you expressing is therapy and a healthy release. And babe it gets easier.

@daniellesings5890 2 жыл бұрын

This video resonated with me so much! I felt every word! I love that you’re so honest! I’m sure every new mom has felt or feels this was just as i do right now. Thanks Shan for the vulnerability and honesty! Literally love your whole soul!

@siewitnessnews 2 жыл бұрын

I love this transparency! ❤️

@marianacerdas3620 2 жыл бұрын

I love your content Shan! Thank you for your honesty and sharing your journey 🙏🏼❤️

@LeeLee-id4qk 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for being authentic! I enjoy your videos so much.

@sydnimartin2728 2 жыл бұрын

i love that i feel like i’m your personal therapist, your mind is a beautiful place thank you for sharing with us. all of your fears and thoughts are incredibly valid. you are going to stun your therapist with your eloquent way of explaining your feelings and thoughts. hope your appointment goes well:)

@thedarkam3thyst 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for being open and sharing what’s been going on with you. Not only is your content interesting and refreshing, it’s relatable and who doesn’t want that in their social media feed everyday?! I’m glad you’re seeking therapy and that you’re working through the transitions in your life with the same honesty and grace that you always do. I’m on the opposite side of the age range, oldest at 31, so it’s expected of me to take care of everything and I still am struggling to deal with the fact that I can’t. That pressure is HEAVY to be the one relied on and feeling like you can’t make a mistake or not just yours but everyone else’s life will crumble afterward. It’s a lot. It’s going to become more manageable, like you said. We gotta just keep believing that. You’re doing great, your content is great, seeing what you’re building is beautiful. I can only speak for myself - I’m here to stay. 💗💖 ♥️ Sending lots of love and strength. You got this! ✨

@michelleg9781 2 жыл бұрын

Whewww enjoyed this so much. Thank you thank you for sharing. 🤍🤍🤍

@storiesbynaima 2 жыл бұрын

Always appreciate your openness and vulnerability

@MicaiahFiel 2 жыл бұрын

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. Thank you so much for sharing. You inspire me so much.

@emavxox 2 жыл бұрын

This was so insightfull! Would love to see a follow up video a few months down to road to see how therapy helped you move forward and gain more tools to deal with your changing life! 🙌🏼

@Prodigy_Il 2 жыл бұрын

That fear will keep you sharp and always on point. Just so long as it's pushing you forward, while having the ability to support your family the way you love to pulling you forward. Blessings to you and your family

@Jasmillmelisa 2 жыл бұрын

Its weird you feel less than on social media. Because i feel when ppl would go on your page they would feel less than because you’ve accomplished so much and have so many blessings. Wow. The grass is never greener

@merlene_k 2 жыл бұрын

The part where you said "it makes me so aware that i can't fail" I FELT THAT SO DEEPLY 😭😭 I am in the same situation. I have no back up. I am the back up. Thank you for being so open and honest. I love when you do such videos. ❤️

@amandaaqui8890 2 жыл бұрын

Loved the way you organized your thoughts throughout this video! I was so engaged by the way you reflected on your difficult circumstances. I would love if you could further explain your quarterly list. It seems like a really interesting way to digest your surroundings and take action. I would really enjoy a video of you breaking down that process.

@kellykorn5326 2 жыл бұрын

Very relatable video. Thanks Shannon.

@DaniDosh 2 жыл бұрын

I am a very introspective person, however, your level of introspection is one I aspire to. Thank you for sharing! Ruminating thoughts are hard and exhausting. Please know that you are doing great! I am a big fan of you 💕

@TheElsaAlvarado 2 жыл бұрын

Love this so much - so raw & real

@ahuman7063 2 жыл бұрын

I love your vulnerability! I have always had that “what if this happened” anxiety and guilt with just almost anything and everything and it’s hard so I can relate sadly

@lisaaaa437 2 жыл бұрын

Again...your transparency ❤️💕, it's appreciated Shan. I've been in therapy from 2009-2019 (recently went back because 2020 existed) and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Going to therapy is for YOU and only you. Worst case scenario is you'll cry your eyes out...but feel an unnecessary burden has been lifted off of you. You'll be fine. We're rooting for you!!

@crestarose 2 жыл бұрын

We love you Shan and we got you!!! Whatever the next step in your self love journey, we are so proud of you!! Thank you for sharing something so many of us can relate to.

@azaria.thealchemist 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for being honest and authentic in this video Shan! I really appreciate it. Literally felt like this could was over me head this week 💓

@ShellyMichele 2 жыл бұрын

Shan, thank you for continuing to be You!

@jesminmejia 2 жыл бұрын

Shan I’ve followed you for a long time. It has been amazing seen you grow and evolve. You are truly a role model for me. While now you are facing your own struggles you continue to be an inspiration to others with your Realness! Than you.

@elizabetekalnina-libere7238 2 жыл бұрын

Stay strong boo!!! We're here for you

@vml9314 2 жыл бұрын

I understand you 100% and deeply feel that I will experience the same feeling when becoming a mom. As a only child who always did whatever she wanted and left home at 18 I knew nothing but complete freedom and also, selfishness. Love you 🌞

@puttyfish 2 жыл бұрын

This is me

@deedarling354 2 жыл бұрын

You're incredibleeee Shan!❤️❤️❤️💐

@goodtimes4463 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this 🙏🙏 you got it girl!

@AllysonWonderlandd 2 жыл бұрын

Totally love you and love supporting you in any way possible. I hope you continue to get financial support to be that support still for your family.

@beelieve14 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing! Actually hear you say aloud similar experiences or feelings made me feel better.

@jellibabii94 2 жыл бұрын

Watching this at 37 weeks pregnant & I’m already resonating with what you’re saying.

@mrsallister32 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing, and for such a real, honest, and raw video. Motherhood is hands down THEE most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. I have help (my mom lives with us when she's not traveling and I have a great village) and I sometimes feel guilty for feeling like this is so hard because other people DON'T have extra hands. You touched on a lot of things in this video, all of them relatable. 💛🙃

@SassySha04 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing❤

@RadyoMusic 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing Shan!!

@lswain1073 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you soooo much for this!!!

@marybernal1674 2 жыл бұрын

I love and miss the vulnerable Shan! As a mommy of two I understand completely. You gotta take care of yourself to be able to take care of others. You got this! It gets better 🌈

@goddessriyet6860 2 жыл бұрын

Shan! I love your channel so much because you let us in on everything while providing so many teachable moments. You drop so many gems and I appreciate you so much. I was with you 6 years ago and even before that with “Those Girls Are Wild” I will be with you giving you my views supporting you in anyway I can. I am so proud of how far you’ve come and for you being so open and raw and making it a point to say “it’s not just for you the viewer this transparency is for me too. “ 🤍