I was told by a man when I was 17: men do know better, don't let them give you excuses don't tolerate it. I think his advice is the one worth holding on to.

Never take back a cheater. Never. Ever. Anyone who cheats on you DOES NOT LOVE YOU.

I mean its not like cheating just happens. The violation comes in when your lying, planning and scheming behind your partners back. You have to suspend your morals and values for quite some time in order to have an affair.

There's difference between being an honorable man or selfish boy.

There are women out there who know a man is with a woman, either engaged or married, and still message a man as a customer or an "old friend" trying to instigate a conversation having no regard for boundaries. I've seen this happen many times. Women too can be extremely disrespectful to other women who they know are happily with a man. Some women unfortunately try to also sabotage another woman's security because they are alone in their own lives.

Adultery is the height of selfishness

Dear men. If a women acts like every things cool after you cheat. Trust me she secretly having her revenge then eventually most likely leave.

It is 100% personal. It is betrayal. It is abuse. Especially if they dare touch their partner afterwards and their partner is unaware it happened. The partner can not consent. So then it is even more abusive.

Here's an idea fellas....how about the father pitching in and helping his exhausted wife who, oftentimes, can be depressed because HER emotional needs are not being met simply because she now has extended responsibilities that raising a child and children require...come on guys, lighten her load, put yourself in her shoes, let your wife refresh and rejuvenate herself....she will love and appreciate you even more for it...the core of the issue is that we live in a selfish, "me first", instant gratification mindset and our marriages often suffer for it. The moment we try to fix our marital problems by going outside the marriage we open the door to a worse situation that will only sabotage the people we love. It's simply not worth the risk.

I personally cannot take back someone that has cheated. If I can’t trust him when he walks out the door I don’t want to be with him. I am not going torture myself by wondering what he’s doing when he’s not with me. Not worth it to me.

What you cannot talk about, do not do. A simple rule to stay out of trouble. The adrenaline of doing forbidden things is not intensity, it is adrenaline to warn about danger.

Anyone who lies and keeps lying, will never change. They’ll always lie. Lying kills trust.

Sadia's right. My ex cheated on me multiple times but I saw the red flags in the beginning when we first met. He was fairly promiscuous, which wasn't going to change just because we were now in a relationship. He also came from a broken home, a cheating absent father to be more precise, who naturally didn't share the same family values I have. And I picked him anyway. "What could possibly go wrong?", I thought. Well, plenty apparently. Now I often ask about family history, whether they're close to their parents, even if divorced. I care more about values, their meaning of respect in a relationship and their opinion on monogamy. I'm more aware of my own red flags, because I know how I'll react if these deal-breakers appear.

If a man cheats, do not blame the woman. He is the one who made the unethical decision. Will we blame her for not talking? No. He also can talk. Same if a woman cheats.

As a Man, I dont respect any man that cheats. How you do anything is how you do everything. It'll happen in Business, It'll happen w Hobbies, It'll happen with his kids, It'll happen everywhere. This goes for women as well.

When you decide to cheat, don't get pissed when your Partner ends the relationship and you have to pay child support and maintenance.

Whether they love you or not is irrelevant. Do they love you in a way that makes YOU feel loved and safe?

This advice doesn’t apply to narcissists and serial cheaters. They just get a kick out of manipulating people and the thrill of the chase.

They love themselves and if they cheated, they proceeded to put their needs above yours which is not love. Let’s have a solid definition of love, let’s start there. Because all this bs and jumping through loops to find an explanation, will cease to exist.

I know this is a less common situation but my husband & I were enmeshed, intensely passionate, intellectually compatible & emotionally best friends. We willingly did everything together & we were each other’s biggest cheerleader. I had no clue he had 11 mistresses our first 2 years of marriage!

Excuses for disrespect and a green light to be selfish - stay single if you need to cheat - betrayal is always personal and so is integrity

All cheaters get their karma .......period

No if he cheats it means he can COMPARTMENTALIZE *** and completely file you away in his mind while betraying you and disrespecting your time and relationship . It is absolutely ABUSIVE it is absolutely a CHOICE and the ONLY thing he “loves” is HIMSELF. I don’t care what need goes Unmet -if he isn’t COMMUNICATING with his partner but takes several ACTIONS to make cheating happen and occur then HE is aware enough to communicate or leave you FIRST!!! This lady lost all credibility after gaslighting herself with several men “experiences” to say he can love you and do this 😭🤢😂 he doesn’t wreck his dream car 🚗 to go find the thrill/need of driving a big truck , so why is he wrecking his relationship to go fill a “need “, when all he has to do is TALK or LEAVE!! Excuses & excuses!! This men are usually disordered , immature , selfish , greedy and not worth taking back or forgiving , go move forward in your life and NEVER accept a cheater back they will do it AGAIN and AGAIN!!

If someone really love you they would have discipline enough not to cheat. A man that cannot talk out their feelings is immature. Disloyalilty is abuse . They know very well it is wrkng and know they would not want it done to them

End the relationship and regain self respect.

Actually most men are not attracted to their wives after childbirth bc her body changes. Men expect women to bear children and maintain the same body before pregnancy.

Also it is important to TALK about the definition of CHEATING. Amazingly the definition is not the same for different people. One example. A man meets his ex in secret but had nothing. For her, he cheated, but for him, by not having physical action, he did not. So the same reality is seen differently by two different people. What I do is that if I see a woman interested in me, I let my wife take control of all interactions and I remain in the background. I also like to be transparent and anything I see, I tell her so she can judge. She is not jealous because I did not give her a reason to be. So I do not do that because she is controlling. It is just that I like a simple life, and I clearly remember Robocop advice to kids "stay out of trouble"

I love how Sadia admits to her flaws. Most people who teach don't, in my experience.

Whew. Damn. I went to school. 1. He asked me if I "needed" him twice. 2. He is under 35. 3. I'm insecure. 4. I have "worse case scenarios" in my head. 5. I put my kids needs over his. 6. I chose "certain" men on purpose 7. I saw "signs of infidelity" early but wasn't sure. 8. We both have intergenerational trauma on several levels of abuse. THIS WAS EYE OPENING. HE BROKE MY HEART...BUT I ALSO BROKE MY 💔 OWN HEART.

I don't think it has to be low self-esteem, but it is definitely trust issues. A person can believe they deserve love and loyalty..., just have lost faith in people.

I admire how Lisa and Tom love each other. He is so devoted to her and she is to him. They inspire me and know that I will find love like that one day.

I've learned throughout my 12 years of marriage that...love and respect yourself. Do not tolerate a cheater. If he can't voice out his feelings properly and cheat then just walk away. Sometimes you are both just not right for each other. I used to be afraid of divorce but if it happens then it happens. Meanwhile I am being self reliant in case it does happen. If he wants a break I say go ahead because I know my power. He knows that I can get any guy if I wanted to. I will walk out the minute if I ever find out.

Sadia is always so accurate and has a healthy objective view on things. Thank you for sharing.

Cheating is a matter of core value and self discipline. It is a management of sex drive... Poor or strong management. Not really to deal with love.

Some men enter into a relationship knowing they don’t want to be faithful. Instead of communicating they rather be friends with benefits, they pretend to be loyal. These men make the decisions for the women bc the idea of her having a choice and exiting stage left is not chance he wants to take. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I think it’s putting a whole lot of responsibility on women to make sure his needs are met at all times when that woman already has so many responsibilities to handle daily. Also, you can’t tell me that every woman’s needs are met 100% of the time either so does that give us the right to outsource it elsewhere? What if it is a situation where she isn’t comfortable doing what that need is? Pornography is one thing but dipping somewhere else, unacceptable. Not only is it disrespectful, it’s also putting someone else’s health at risk. Male psychology is absolutely bonkers!

If you cheat, you are weak. End of story. No reason, excuse or complex explanation into the human psyche. Just a lack of discipline and self-control.

Find yourself a demisexual empath. It would reduce way more risks of them cheating. And make sure they’re not an avoidant attachment style, so they can reassure you with lots of love and build trust.

Being friendly with many women..not wanting to talk etc

Soooo a mans NEEDS “CONTROL” him …to cheat ??? 😂😂😂😭😭 he’s not accountable cause he’s in love still …he just has “needs”. But a woman’s needs don’t control her enough to make her leave , she stays and fights with a broken man ? I guess our needs should now be excuses enough to leave asap if theirs are justified to cheat 🤷‍♀️

I knew very early when he started to be a way and emotionally unavailable, I knew there is another woman in his life at work Unfortunately in my case he fall in love with her Not having sex with her But emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating

Though I don't agree with men cheating, I also don't agree with women withholding themselves from their husbands expecting nothing to happen. That is manipulation. If a woman chooses to intentionally engage in this behavior, whatever happens is on them.

I'm wondering how much of her wisdom and knowledge Sadia is able to use in her personal life.

how about she says I love you and cheats on him is it ok too ?????????? not give her needs and someone else does?

its my 2nd video that i watch from this channel and the content about men's behavior is so accurate that i felt the need to comment and mention it.

Biggest sign is sax stops or starts rejecting it

" i'm too tired, go to watch pornography" WTF. Create the mood, put some effort for her and for him, or just deal with frustration but still respect the relationship, don't go to porn for Christ sake

26:50 I don't think they specifically think of you as being dumb enough when you tolerate their bad behaviour. I think they just don't care about being hurtful unless you set boundaries.

They outsource it regardless if you have kids or not stop making excuses for them

Do you think accepting bad behaviour from a partner subconsciously indicates for them that their behaviour is acceptable? Like a child where if you don’t put in proper punishment the child won’t fully register the behaviour is bad?

What are people’s thoughts on social media? My guy doesn’t get my reasons for not being enchanted with the time spent on social media platforms. He’s recently culled back the thousands of thirst trap pages considerably, so I appreciate him doing something about it. I can’t help still not being ok with the time he spends on it and I can’t accuse him as it makes me look unstable. It’s a gateway to micro cheating and worse in my opinion.

The problem is if one cannot handle the truth they start to punish their partner for being honest! I can respect an honest person than not!

4:00 lol when I ask open ended questions to communicate and connect I get yelled at. 😂

No one needs these complex discussions which can actually give men an excuse to cheat- “unmet needs” really?? Reality- MEN WHO CHEAT DONT FEAR GOD AND HAVE NO SELF RESPECT! It’s as simple as that!

So basically, just blame women for getting cheated on is what i got from this. I find it odd that someone who says their insecure and has work done to look beautiful would choose to work with clients who are men who cheat. In the therapy would men usually like their therapist, and its against the law in therapy to sleep with clients. I hope that's not the case.

Thank you Lisa

😂😂😂 I’m like you saida. Red flags 🚩 approach the situation

I never had to tell my hubby to respect me until recently he is totally disconnected.

Sadi doesn't want to offend the host but in reality pornography affects young and older men. So the host giving green light to her husband to watch pornography cause she's too tired or doesn't want it, diminishes the connection between them🤨

newly wed and was cheated on. separated after 3 months.

At least he was honest and told me I had a lot of gf (which means I was actively a player) so I get it how is he, didn’t need to show me.

That's wild Sadia is still insecure? Wow. She's got everything, but she can't just say "I'm tired of being this way and its making me exhausted" and give it up.

Amazing how she justifies that men cheat for a good reason

Women have unmet needs too but marriage is about sacrifice especially when the children come along. Motherhood is terribly taxing and exhausting. If our men are "outsourcing" perhaps they have a bit too much time on their hands and a better use of their time could be involving them in the childrearing responsibilities, beyond earning a paycheque, instead of going behind their wife's back and violating the marriage by the betrayal of another woman. Has anyone considered the risks of the man bringing home an STD to his already exhausted wife?? Nothing good nor fruitful is accomplished by bringing in a third party except betrayal, unwanted pregnancy, disease and divorce. And, if a man is willing to risk all that to get his sexual needs met, if he does not have the self control and self discipline, who is led not by his integrity but by his body parts, who is unwilling and unable to put his marriage first and to protect it, he will only bring contamination to it. Sadly, the divorce courts are full of these type of men.

I'm halfway through the video and I think if you're with a narcissist or psychopath, you're automatically doomed because they are going to cheat, full stop. I have abandonment issues so I'm naturally paranoid about being cheated on, and for sure, most of my partners have cheated on me.

I used to love listening to Sadia and I still do but when I followed her KZfaq channel and read through the comments and saw some of her responses… she responds in such an immature way and it’s mind boggling considering how intelligent she is. I don’t agree with everything she says but she is smart. I wish she’d be a bit more thoughtful with the way she answers social media comments. It takes away from her credibility in my opinion! She is defiantly against age gap relationships too. I say to each their own

It is not always personal but it is MOST OF THE TIME! It’s a way to punish the partner and get a revenge for a real or perceived wrongdoing. This woman is full of s***! 🙄

Hey Tom - can you weigh in on what your partner said

I cheated because my ex was not meeting my needs. She would not validate my feelings when I was angry, sad, or anything. We lost emotional connection over time and I ended up not caring if I hurt her or not because I felt she didn't care about me for so long. My fault for not being able to communicate effectively as well as cheating. I did love her but I stopped caring about her since I felt she stopped caring about me.

Don't have kids. Problem solved.

Both giving advice coming from a book because non of you really felt the pain loss and grief that comes with abandonment and cheating. And did you know men cheat on strong beautiful smart educated women with the whole package. You know why because they are insecure and empty inside and project it onto their partner. That’s when cheating happens and that’s a choice ! A person who loves you will never cheat on you no matter how miserable he/she is and no matter how much temptation. Plus one has to have morals. Breakup and divorce is more dignified than cheating .. that’s why when one is looking for a partner must look for someone who’s done his inner work and healing. If not run or be ready to invest in healing together if he/she worth it

Unmet needs in the bedroom? Or not enough times? Well, the wife already knows if she can't stand having sex with him if her husband didn't care about her needs and when she confronts him, he doesn't want to hear it and he figures he doesn't want to tell her about his needs not met and he just goes and cheats. I hate when they say men aren't communicaters. They have a mouth and know how to speak! Excuses.

How is don’t tolerate it and if women start doing this then men will have to change

We can love them and have un met needs too lol

Every guy I have been with has cheated on me

Not saying I do not agree but this works both ways. Woman can say I love you and cheat - this is not just one way. And I say it as a woman.

Oh heck no!!! If a person can't come to me for that but go to other people to allow them to have him in that way but not for me I can't do that because if I'm saying faithful and things like that and not having any sexual with anybody else haven't been for 18 years I have not been with another man in that way the last person I've ever been with like that was my ex-spouse of 17 years 4 years separated still nobody's been with me in that way ever the whole 18 years my ex-spouse would do that when we were together and if we were not and we were separated it was like he only wanted to be with me but when we were together he was constantly wanting to mess around with other people it made no sense that is another reason why I have not been intimate with another man nothing to do with that I don't want to I don't want to be put through that again

Is texting another women sexually cheating? Thats what my boyfriend did to me and weird part is he is very jealous of who i talk to

Just ask your husband if he can be honest about his desire to you?

As a man, I agree with the beginning of the video. It's true that as man, most of the time, if not always we prefer to outsource our unmet needs... For e.g sex is vital for a man and if he is not getting it from his wife, he will outsource it. Similarly, if the girl is not caring, loving etc, the man will outsource it...

Or parents please start teaching your boys to communicate and that it’s ok to express their feelings.

This is not love!!! What she say its ego and a Growing Boy

The part about women losing touch after kids needs to be adjusted. I didn’t and many women don’t…. How? I literally don’t understand and I am one of the most devoted parents …. Like, seriously. I feel that the woman was participating in the relationship for means of having the baby and didn’t care about their connection to begin with. I know MANY women who exuded hate for their husbands and they push out babies … ignoring them during pregnancy and afterwards. It’s the same as a guy chasing a woman for only one thing

This is the same for women

Can we talk about cheating women?

When a woman becomes a mother, in the mind of many men, a mother and a woman are 2 separate beings. So they feel that mothers are sacred, so feeling desire is wrong, so they outsource. It is a terrible way to understand things, but I have seen that plenty of times. The archetype of mother and women. The problem is that these men stop seeing the wife as a woman, and see her as a mother, and just like they would not do that to their mom, they put the archetype of their mom in their wives, and not having anything with the wife becomes a twisted form of respect towards mother. It is twisted because it is twisted. But the strong religious Christian beliefs about the virgin mother do not help too much to configure the archetypes.

14:32 correct

9:04 very interesting

I don't agree with Sadia. what she is talking about "needs not being met" that's why good men "outsource it" and that she is shocked how some women don't notice that their partners have been different etc... it is true to some degree but definitely not the case in the majority of cases. as a psychologist myself who works with women who have been betrayed, I will tell you there are plenty of narcissistic men who are really good at lying. I personally worked with women whose marriages were super happy, yet their partners had been cheating for years without any guilt and shame. while normal men might feel guilt and seem irritated with their partner to justify their behavior as Sadia explains, a narcissist will have noooo problem treating his wife like a queen, having a ton of sex at home and still cheating. and narcissists' wifes often don't see a change in their behavior because their partners have always been lying and cheating from the very beginning, and in such cases, there will be no change in behavior. Sadia saying that women are supposed to notice sign of their men cheating - it only works in a tiny fraction of cases. women who got out of narcissistic relationships are already blaming themselves for not noticing what their cheating partners have been up to. I am leaving this comment here only to say that as a psychologist myself I disagree with Sadia's opinion. I don't want any victim blaming here. there is not enough space here for me to go into listing many reasons here why someone is very happy relationship might cheat. so talking about tired new moms neglecting their poor husbands and pretty much pushing them into cheating is a cliché. I am over this video.

what do you all think about cyber cheating? sex chats and exchanging photos with real people in our area…

the past 2 months he’s been on Facebook everyday sometimes 2-3 times a day and Denys it when in 8 years he was rarely on facebook he hired a a guy who’s the same age as him but separated with a 40 year old girlfriend , now he’s looking at other women profiles coming home from work saying he’s not feeling well , I’ve asked him is there anything attention he’s lacking from me if I’m not dressing a certain way or wearing my hair and clothes if I’m not praising him enough he say No ??? He says he doesn’t want to feel watched or squeezed or boundaries

sadia what you never does is lie to you husband

It's almost exactly like I thought it was..Men see cheating easy when they feel unattended, period! All Men will cheat, cos it's just easy for them🥴 And there's PLENTY of easy women to give it up to a Married man!

Love from india 🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳

So the answer is, don't have children and then the women can't use the excuse of being exhausted from dealing with the kids! Problem solved!

It’s crazy to me you girls don’t know this. I only Watched 45 seconds, I’m about to go out.

21:34 when things are getting difficult in the relationship cheating is a coping mechanisim? so what if there is abuse in the relationship, does that cause cheating as a form of coping?

Raise your hand if you self-sabotage 🤚🏼😂😔

Sadia has beautiful and full hair.

This doesn't explain the cheaters who are married WITH NO BABY coming in.. Still choosing to 2 time women