No contact is the only way to get away from them. There is nothing to explain to them. They don't care. They just take, take, take. Went back at least 30 times. Then the last time I realized if I try to explain myself, it's going to go no where as usual and they turn everything around.

No contact,, blocking, no response, and journaling are the basic first steps to freedom! 💝

I realize at the end I was not emotionally strong enough because the narcissists have no empathy you will walk away as a broken human....

Yes contact gave me sickening anxiety! I thought I was strong enough. No!! I need my boundaries rebuilt! Also no contact!! I need this video!! Thank you Andrew💕🌺

Narcissists are excellent at acting. They get people by their charm and performance. It can leave you confused because they are so innocent in playing victim and pointing you as the abuser. Don't fall for it!💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

I’ve blocked him but today his daughter contacted me. My instinct was suspicious. Then I watched today’s video. He’s stepping it up and trying different ways to contact me but I’m onto him. Thank you for your videos. Very difficult connection to end.

“ YOU CAN’T UNSEE WHAT YOU SEE “ … got the knowledge .. journaled , read , watched U tube videos , used radical acceptance , forgave myself , took accountability .. I am so glad I chose me and healed .. I realize my worth ..

This video reminded me of this quote: "I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free." Georgia O'Keefe Don't let a narc draw you back in. No good will come of it. And don't take to heart anything they say to you or about you, whether it's love bombing or devaluing. There's no truth in them. Peace and comfort to everyone on this channel.🙏🕊

Shut the Door on Yesterday 🌿 I've shut the door on yesterday, It’s sorrows and mistakes; I've locked within its gloomy walls Past failures and heartaches And now I throw the key away To seek another room And furnish it with hope and smiles, And every springtime bloom. No thought shall enter this abode That has a hint of pain, And every malice and distrust Shall never therein reign. I've shut the door on yesterday And thrown the key away- Tomorrow holds no doubt for me, Since I have found today. By Agnes Martin I’d suggest to do the Pros and Cons list: It’s eye opening and helps tremendously. 3 Pros 30 Cons so far.. that’s plenty of proof for now😊 God bless you ❤️🙏🌟

No contact SAVED MY LIFE AND MY KIDS’ LIFE!! Seriously. You have to go no contact. If you don’t you’re just dragging the abuse out and delaying recovery. Please, look at the lives those of us who have been through it. You deserve to be free and happy. If you’re struggling, please reach out to me. ❤️🙏

I am learning to say no. It's unbelievable how much power I have handed over.

A narcissist draws you back in with guilt they tell you that they're sorry and thats it's it's their fault and then when you go back to them they do it again

I’m glad you mentioned members of a church, they often get away with narcissist behavior behind the cloak of the church.

Its not only FINANCIAL resources they are after. In my case it is my EMOTIONAL resources and the validation the NARC needs. I never had financial resources, but everything else was drained: energy, emotions, LABOR, etc.

Thank you Andrew. I am staying clear of this person. I feel free.

Responded to an attempted hoover today, told her if she ever texts me again I'm enforcing the peace bond (restraining order) I have against her which will result in her going back to court to face multiple assault charges (in which I was the victim) that the peace bond allowed her to avoid facing a month ago( I foolishly agreed to the peace bond instead of letting her go to jail due to my own empathy which has been entirely wasted on her) I was just starting to feel good again and in fact started a new job today. She immediately ignored my statement about enforcing the peace bond and sent me a rage fit via text before I was able to block her, in full defiance of the law and my boundary. I then blocked and deleted her. Namaste Andrew, this video was so timely. I'm so tired of this emotional vampire stalking me and messing with me. This channel is actually helping me save my own life. Not sure if you've covered this in a previous video but it would be cool if you could break down how a NARC believes themselves to be above the law, as that has been a constant theme with this person that I'm trying to escape, for years now.

Exactly, you nailed it. They all have the same patterns. You are fighting a losing battle, if you think your love will change them. Heal, go NO CONTACT,

He wasn't happy when I graduated college. My last day of classes he was depressed and moody, I ended up comforting him instead of being celebrated

Thanks to you No Contact works. I'm tired of being played and my N. is way too dangerous to entertain.

This is exactly what I'm going trough. What makes me sad are the people that are trying to get information on me to tell him, people that I never expected could do such a thing!

Once u are emotionally healed you got it under control…move forward onward. Be Well.🦄

Great video. I've fallen for his act about 4 time's. And I've found out that he has been looking for me. As painful as it will be, I'm no longer allowing him to manipulate me, my feelings my heart, my soul. I know he will never change. I feel really stupid when I look back at all the times I've taken him back. As crazy as it sounds I really still love him, but he is toxic, and I don't think I can survive another go around. He cannot change, but I have changed for the better. Thank you everyone for your comments and prayers. And thank you Andrew for the education.

I fell for that ONCE… he ghosted me and I thought 🤷‍♀️ just as well… not worth fighting for anymore. I was still upset for a few weeks, then I FULLY accepted it was over and there just wasn’t any reconciling it. If I went back he’d just ghost me again. Best not give him the satisfaction of THAT 😁 Things are GREAT now! SPOT ON, Andrew! EXCELLENT video tonight! Enjoy your evening! Much ❤️ XO 😘💋 Time for me to go cook dinner now 😉🍽

Can't draw you back in if you refuse contact. Stay blocked, no room for any communication.

I’m following your direction Andrew, going no contact, he was a violent narcissist who punched me in the mouth at one point! I took him back like a jerk before I found out who he truly was! I moved out of state and trying to start a new life with me and my dog! Thank you so much!

Yes- they are so clever, charismatic and oh yes, "Let the past go and we can start again" with promises of treating me better. The best option is just GET OUT of the toxic situation!! Indeed master manipulators. I agree that a pro and con list is so essential. (I weighted many of the pro and con aspects-- very telling)! Andrew thank you for another spot-on message. Love and support to you Andrew and to all in this community. ❤💚🧡💜💞💞

You're so right Andrew! Blocking with no contact is the only way to get away & get on with one's life. A clean break. I did this. It really worked for me. Listening to & watching you, you come across with warm sincerity. I really love that about you! 🕯🕯

not happening for me. Although, my mentor today had a lonnnggggg chat with me about past users in my life and if I plan to close down all those areas. I committed today to myself and to her that I'm done with people who just use me for services (volunteer etc)...Lots of issues I can see over a lifespan. Taking each moment a bit more cautiously now. Thank you Andrew for helping all of us to set and maintain healthy boundaries. What an example

Makes sense every night,Andrew there's always a Hoover from Narcissist have nothing else too offer only Pain! 💪🙏💯♠️♠️

Guilt is one of the main things my ex is used. It brought torment to me for so long

Hi Andrew, and all you survivors out there. A week without internet!😀 I'm two months behind in my rebuilding plan... trailer issues that needed to be resolved. Rained almost every day I was dragging it 'home'. Been officially living in my trailer for two weeks. The day I left, I went no contact. I have remained no contact. I did receive a forwarded tax bill from her.🙃And I did have to return documents I discovered I didn't know I had. But it was dropped off at someone's house in the neighborhood. I'm pretty sure she understands she'll never see me or hear from me again. I did get a couple hang up phone calls recently. I wonder... I will not be drawn back in. What keeps me strong in my resolve to remain no contact is remembering how terrible I felt in her presence. That 'dark night of the soul' I went through is something I never want to experience again. That evil is gone from my life and shall remain so. I'm lying in my little bed with a creek flowing past just outside the window of my camper. I don't know where I'll be heading next, but I know where I am not going.😉

omg my this is just starting to happen to me now,,,my ex wants back and its like i`m falling in love with myself again,,,next to come i believe is the love bombing phase,,,,,,god help me,,,i can feel the anxiety building already off and on,,its back after 10 years to finish me off once for all,,,,this video is 100% spot on....but on the positive side,i am very well educated now...thank you

Looking good Andrew - it's like you know my life! No more hoovers, no more contact. At first I was shocked that this was even a thing, now I'm comforted to know there are others in the same boat as me, I'm becoming happier everyday.

💯 true I’m 55 and I’m finally done with them all. When you realize they offer no good in return none nada zip nothing but problems hurt feeling they are evil pure evil. Took me long enough to realize. Thank you so much Andrew we love you and appreciate you so very much! 🙏🏻😊❤️

All true, I had many narcissists in my life. The scene of the crime was me, well said. And all what I've learned, loosing so much but no regret, not anymore. I have to solve my patients problems every day and I can use my experiences to help them. It almost cost me my own life but that's past tense where I don't go back never again. Painful but now...useful.

I have let him back in. 4 weeks ago I let him go, I told him goodbye, he said I'm not saying goodbye. So here I go again. But I'm still listening to your videos, I really need to break free. And listening to you helps me.

Sixth sense for sure. I had to continue with my boundaries. About fell apart but I got through it

Andrew, I thought I was strong to handle the Hoover but I wasn’t. Especially when I was feeling stronger after I asked him to leave four months earlier. I left the communication open and he would Hoover every month or two to see him, go to his birthday etc. I didn’t go once to see him, i just couldn’t do it! But, out of no where, I ended going into rumination spins, couldn’t sleep, anxiety levels kept rising and I couldn’t function. I didn’t realise how badly my body reacted to his Hoovers. I realised that blocking him was the final severing of the vampirical tie to his being and I needed to do it for my sanity. It’s been two months and knowing he can’t contact me has calmed me right down. Narcissistic abuse and trauma bond is real, so real. Thank you for helping me on my healing journey Andrew 🙏🏻😇

No contact!🔥Keep on healing!

I left the narcissist once. He tried so many times to reel me back in, to no avail.

' ! ❤️ ! " Responsibility Matters for ALL Lives " ! ' WELL SAID ' !

Yes. Andrew is correct. Don't let them wiggle back in. They never change. Move on to a better life. Love & peace ✌️ ❤️

Wow. You read my mind....I always wonder why I feel so bad after allowing contact from my Ex narcissits....but what you discussed today his the nail on the head.. it undoes my progress....thanks for your tough love towards your subscribers...we need to hear this 👍🙏🥰

But here is the problem when I find a narcist is targeting me in the work place. I chose to cut off all contact, and then explain to the HR department the ways that this narcisit is subversively harassing me, and in the end, it can end up looking like I AM THE NARCISICT, and the HR department will fall into believing that I'm some crazed narciscit employee trying to take down my own boss.

They can vascillate from hoover to abuse, then pinched off with a hoover iN THE SAME VOICEMAIL! Thanks, Andrew - right on point, just what I needed to hear. When the pupil is ready...

Yes no contact he wouldn’t dare come to the place I live now! When I lived alone he used to come & cry whatever to get me back I was very manipulated by this clown. Been out of it almost 18 months no contact thanks for the wisdom have a great day

I’m still in the house with the narc until moving out date has been confirmed but he was away for a week and came back on Saturday. He was only here for 2 hours (with his mobile phone dinging constantly with WhatsApp, from the moment he stepped through the front door) and I heard him chatting to the next victim that he had spoken to on the same dating website he met me and others on. He was feeding her the exact same lines I got and he was having a fantastic time to himself laughing and giggling. He mentioned to her he was unable to save her mobile number to his phone and had written it on a bit of paper. After speaking to her for over an hour, he unpacked etc but his mobile kept with the WhatsApp alerts. He went to bed and I could hear him chatting away for ages trying to arrange to meet her. The next day the said bit of paper with her number on was scrunched up and in the bin, I haven’t heard him speak to her since, so she has escaped. However, I have heard him speaking several times to his ex and sending her details of a house he might buy and asking her approval and what alterations he could make. I walked by him yesterday and saw him contacting the ex (after her) about exactly the same thing by WhatsApp. These 2 exes also bought houses with him in the last 7 years, he has tortured this pair and made out it was all their fault but they would stay ‘friends’. I know he must have done it as we fell out and I didn’t speak to him for 3 weeks (here in the house) and he said that even one of them hadn’t held out that long…..they give themselves away all the time. LISTEN to them, they tell you their plans way in advance. Once we are out of here, I’m done with him, he will be blocked on everything. 💪👍

I took him back after understanding better. BIG MISTAKE. I'm back out now

I am a sovereign human being. I owe it to myself to have a safe and clear environment.

Thank you Andrew! Everything that you are saying and describing is spot on and so true. I was healing after he discarded me months ago, I fell for the Hoover recently thinking that I was healed and strong and stated my boundaries. He ignores and pushes and pushes for more. It is too much and has set me back. Now I have to start all over and face the ending of this fiasco again.

I journal everything, but it looks like a crazy complex story

Creepy Creepers Shady Hard to comprehend. Best quote “The only single thing an unbalanced person and a kind empathic person Have in common ONE CAN NOT COMPREHEND the other!

When you have a child with them it’s difficult but I’m learning the art of indifference

Truth..narcissist are very proud, they feels like they are better than everyone else.🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥.

Do you know...today I had such an amazing realization!They come almost daily...credit to your wonderful insights, which I believe,are straight from the heart of God,using you, Andrew in an incredible way!My eye opener today is that God has blessed me infinitely by taking me out of that situation and because He has done it,that is my closure!I have made a loooong list of the aspects of bondage that I experienced for 30 years and spoke forgiveness out to the narcissist for them all,declaring my healing and peace,new life,restoration and re building,beauty for ashes!I know today, I never want the bondage back...I'm walking in my blessing of freedom and I'm holding on to it!I just want to encourage everyone who is on their own part of the journey...keep doing the right thing and keep on trusting God...the healing will come!

I don’t feel strong enough to go no contact, seems to be more draining while sending him all my annoying txts seem to be more relaxing to me🤷🏽‍♀️🤣. He always has hated all those txts, and I think that’s why love sending them.

I watched this video just in time! And u are perfectly right on target. Tomorrow is the narcs bday. He hasnt spoken in 2 mos. I was going to say happy bday then realized how dumb that is. Instead i will block him as a gift for his bday. Thank you so much!!

Such a wise and beautiful message of strength for us today. You’re an Angel sent to us Andrew, thank you. Indeed, if you don’t block the narcissist you leave yourself open to receiving their negativity amongst other things and that is definitely what we don’t want on our healing journey. Understandably and honestly sometimes I’ve thought I’d like the narcissist to see me now, healthy, positive, glowing and happy but why? To show them what they’ve lost? Maybe? But what would be the point? They wouldn’t really care anyway and they’d only try and take it off you. We don’t need that now or ever again 💙🙏💙

Only my grand children can draw me back in at this point!

The message of this video is fundamentally important! NO contact!! Whatsoever. To heal, to get your life back, to get YOU back, it is a must - contact NONE, it is a must! Many thanks to you Andrew for your excellent, much informative videos❣ Love & Light

Thank you so much for all the energy you have put into helping people like me. I have struggled most of my life with Narcisst beginning with my parents but primarily my mother…I married one and was in a relationship with him for 35 years never knowing what was the problem…i just assumed that God had put these people in my life so I could help them and in some way pay whatever dues I needed to pay. After my abusive marriage I swore I would never be abused again but sadly I again fell into the clutches of a Narcissist and that is how I ended up here today finally understanding better and trying to heal and not ever let some like that hurt me again. Very few counselors where ever able to help me sadly and if it where not for you tube videos like yours it makes me more sad to think where I would be. Basically I feel like I have new friends now who are able to understand me like no one else really can. I have been no contact for two months and I’m praying to all the angels, saints and God above to help me heal and to not go backwards again. It’s not not easy but understanding what this is about is the only way to heal. Thank you and God bless you!

Beautiful the way you're putting it.

Amazing!!! Everything YOU say is true 1000%. God Bless You🙏🙏🙏

I'm happy that I find this video and discovering your channel while dealing with narcissistic family

We’re all so grateful for you in your guidance has helped so many ❤️

She hates it when I'm happy!

I blocked him. He's getting on my nerves with his silent treatments.

Ok this is a great video.. it brings back memories that make you say to yourself “what a disgusting human being I endured” I’m never going back to that anxiety ridden life again. Thank god I got away. #healingpath

Damn! They want me bad! Not well intended. I ignored the text. Declined the call! NOT engaging what SO ever, with the more dangerous party, lurking... .Andrew, they are in touch with my thoughts!!! I was watching a video...the lady was saying that this person WANTS ME SMOKING CIGARETTES. My flying monkey abusive neighbor! Refuses to shield me from his second hand smoke.... poison to me. And right THEN, a very innocent text came in "How am I? What am I doing today?" I decided to change my usual behavior here... And I decided NOT to try to Grey Rock...not to go back and forth about refusing their invitation.... So, shortly after my nonresponse, a call came in from this person. I was by now, on this video with you, and I just quickly pressed DECLINE.

I'm quite surprised my ex narcissist has left me alone since August 3rd. I think this time he finally knows I am absolutely done

Yeah, right on. Totally on point for me tonight. Going through that exact thing now. I did respond via text with "no, no, don't care, goodbye, blocked".

I always feel confident after listening to Andrew. Makes me believe that I can get away, stay away, and heal. Gives me knowledge to never let this happen again, or at least recognize it in the beginning. 🥰

Thank you for this video. He's convinced me to go back to him before, saying he had an epiphany and that he had changed, that he realised he had a huge victim mentality, acted as a softer, less selfish person, but this change in behaviour lasted about two months max. I've blocked everything personal but I do check a public website where people talk about what's happening in one of the businesses he runs. Mostly because it's comforting to read others also starting to realise that he's a narcissist and angry at how he's used their money. There is currently a call from a few to vote to remove him from his post so I know things aren't going well for him recently and this is making me apprehensive that he'll try to hoover or contact me. This video has helped me see that this awareness is actually a good thing. He caught me off guard at the very beginning because I told him I didn't want to keep contact with him because of stuff he's done in the past. But he pushed back in a month later through social media, because I didn't maintain that awareness and had forgotten the reasons that I chose to end communication with him. He later confessed that the very serious allegations about him in an article were actually true. I'm ashamed to say I stayed in the relationship when he did this, looking back I think partly I was scared, partly I wasn't able to let the relationship go. Even though I know all of this, being honest, a small part of me still doesn't want to. To say he's a master manipulator is a huge understatement. He's surrounded by other master manipulators. I feel so sorry for others in his life who aren't like that. There are so many people around him that lose money, and/or their mental health is severely affected, he spends his life pacifying people to keep them on side. I didn't see it at the time but it's truly horrid what he does and the world he inhabits. Thank you so much Andrew 🙏

Another great video Andrew ❤️. I have gone back a few times after being hoovered up again, but when he threatened me 3 times in 20 minutes, that was the last straw. We had a huge argument about nothing, as usual, and he kept it going, leaving the room and coming back to add more. Luckily I had sense to record all these for the last 3 months so I had proof. He threatened to follow me around the house and annoy me until I hit him and he would get me arrested for assault ( I reckon to get a restraining order and get me out the house). Its not in my nature to be violent, but he was pushing me, his 3 ex wife had been violent with him, I wonder why. We move out of this house in about 3 months once the sale is complete and he will be blocked on everything. I reckon he doesn’t know that I will do that, he has just copied me into an email to our solicitor saying the cost of the sale and legal fees are to be split the same way as the money we put in to buy the house, 75% him and 25% me. That was a bit of a surprise as I was sure he would have said all fees as 50/50. He’s just back from a week away and what a difference it made to me, finally relaxed and all tension gone until the day before he came back. We sit in separate rooms in the house and separate bedrooms, I really have very little to do with him now. He hasn’t picked a fight with me in a couple of weeks now that I have gone through with selling the house, he never thought I would. We always have to put ourselves first, second and third. 👍👍

Needed this video very much, I was tempted to go back to be honest, but after seeying this video I realized I should never even considder going back for even one minute, I am on the way of healing, I am on the way of getting my life back, getting stronger, getting more and more myself again, no way I am going to let him distroy that!!!! Thank you Andrew to remind me to stay strong…

In my mind, when you spoke of a “ flavor of a month like ice cream”, keep thinking( in my mind, promise won’t act out on it!!), I’ll give that dude of a narcissist ( other words how ever scrabbled up!!) a flavor of the month, I’ll call it “ The knuckle sandwich “!! 😁 Ty again! Much love and peace💫

All they want to do, is take, take, Take. The disguise of many masks. Fantastic video. 😋💯🙂

Thank you for this vital knowledge. Once you kno you must GO move in silence 🤐 don't react say nothing leave thm in the dust 🏃🏾‍♀️💨

NO CONTACT WORKS!!! My Narc needs me, except I DON"T NEED HER. Yes she is no benefit to me whatsoever. Blocked her every which way and I hope it stays that way. She gets thru that? I'll do a restraining order and let her tell a judge why she can't leave me alone.

Thank you. No contact is best for our own health. Blocking is great, and changing your number. So true.

I would let them back in. I made that mistake. I was too soft. I was in their grip. What I found, was when I let them back in, the cycle of abuse would start again. Finally I stopped the relationship. and had no further contact with them. I don't see them now. This happened years ago.

I have been stalking and spied on for many years by this person. Well aware of everything you just said They are of no benefit. I couldn’t care less. So over this craziness. Great video. Thank you. Wishing you love and light this day. Namaste 🙏🥰🎶

He used to say...I know human beings. Now I understand what he really meant.

Thank you Andrew. God bless you.

Thank you. Yes --- play that again.

Yes that's where I'm getting. Thank God. I did it's a hoover you're right and a day later acting weird for no reason

Profound! Thank you! Namaste

Please don’t accept a Hoover. Stay No Contact. Forever.

Wow another great video Andrew thank you god bless 🙌

Oh boy the HOOVERING at the moment (4 days in after I walked)... Unreal. Thanks to you, R. Grannon and dr. Ramani and one or two others, I'm remaining strong. Just have to keep my empathy in check. I HAVE TO get myself to go no contact. At the moment not. Not yet. It's exactly because I thought I was strong enough that he reeled me back in previously.

Thanks Andrew ❤️. That's so true. The aging narcissist has had load of practice. Hope I can remain strong after the last episode 😮😢

Very true! I can remember feeling my personal power return only to be conned again... and again. Co-parenting while I fell back into the trap a ridiculous number of times, each span of time away from him reinforced that I really didn't need him in my life until I was strong enough to just cut him out entirely. One evening I saw him from a distance at a concert and rather than the old familiar pang of heartache I felt nothing except a serious desire for him not to see me. I just didn't want to be bothered with him. Whatever I'd seen in him was nonexistent. He was simply a stranger in the crowd. Gosh, that's been a few years ago and I just re-felt that beautiful rush of joy for that moment when I realized I was free of that addiction to that toxic man.

Yes!!! Rising Up like the Phoenix from those ashes of past disappointments and becoming the unique and priceless treasure you were meant to be. Namaste Andrew.

This is great info thank you. I would love to block him but we have three young children together and if it wasn’t for that I would have absolutely nothing to do with him whatsoever for the rest of my life. Because there’s no reason why he can’t see the children, we have to make contact for them & so they cycle is ongoing. We become friendly again eventually and usually at some point back in a relationship again, only for it to explode again. I’ve resigned myself to the fact he will be in my life until they are adults and I don’t have to have any more to do with him 😕

I wish I could go no contact. When you have children with one, we must communicate on some level. So, grey rock is the way to go. Unfortunately, when your ex narc's new supply is a narcissist/borderline themself, it makes matters way worse. Both are 2 bullies that constantly want to attack you. I ignore and move on because I know and understand how narcissists operate. The mind games, word salads, gaslighting etc. Thanks Andrew for your help.♡

I picked up a call its been weeks, since i ran for my life, he had a different number, he was like i love you ,why did you leave, you have been gone for quite a while now! I was like nope f off !! Hung up.blocked, but im quite concerned he has been up to no good , i think with a family member, close one whos married idk i just feel a pit in my stomache, and dont know what to do. Its just upsetting because i have been sitting back remember everything 😔, it all makes sense now

First one was the back and forth - now I know better - insulating and no contact only way

Thanks. I appreciate reinforcement and encouragement.

I have to say, Andrew, that I am so glad to see you looking so well, composed, confident and steadfast. Thank you again for all your hard work in your endeavour to help so many ❤️

Let's be honest-- CO dependant person MUST grow up and change themself ( me ). We're ONLY a victim the first instance of abuse. Everything after this moment is the people pleasing conflict avoidance.