Story 1: AITA For refusing to attend my SIL's public apology after she lied about my son? Story 2: 4:24 AITA for refusing to apologize Story 3: 8:37 AITA for choosing my fish over my sister and parents Story 4: 11:53 AITA for telling my daughter it's her fault she has no pictures of herself?

Story one family is trash, they are putting pressure on OP and thinking of themselves.

'Scuse me... Did she actually say that this grown ass man leaves food like *ground beef* on the floor and chucked a plate at the wall like a toddler? And hung up on her when she was having a legit medical emergency and the BF wants *HER* to apologize... I heard that correctly, right?

1st Story: SIL is absolutely a demon. You don’t try to coexist with demons, you exorcise them. That’s all that I will say here.

It's not "moving the fish" it is literally uprooting the entire home, for people who didn't gaf about you until they needed something.

Story 3: OP shouldn't let her family into their home no way no how. She'll NEVER get rid of them. They will claim rights and she'll need to take them to court to get them evicted. Anyone who quits their job to take care of their adult daughter b/c she doesn't know how to cook and clean for herself is a failure at parenting and life. OP went NC for a reason, and should put that wall of NC back up. Their poor decisions aren't OP's emergency. Not OP's monkeys, not OP's circus. Enjoy the pond.

i would love to know an update on the story with the crazy twin destoring the home

Lol, she can't cook. As my father used to say: "if you can read, you can cook." It's not magic ffs

The one person who disliked this video is the sis in-law

1. I think OP needs to have a heart to heart with their brother. That under no circumstances will she be allowed near you or your family, any event she goes to you will leave, you will never forgive her because you believe it will not be sincere, because shes getting negative response from it and as part of an ultimatum. I think you need to tell him that you cant be apart of your brothers life anymore if he wants to keep her as a partner, you have to put your families health before any other relationships, anything with her is not in your life. It will be his choice, and anyone pushing you to accept the “apology” can get fucked and be on timeout.

Story 1 - if your brother divorced his wife it will be his decision based on her history of bad behavior. OP isn’t responsible for his decision or her behavior. Also, your presence isn’t required for her to apologize

Story 2: Mark is angry that someone has come between him and his brother. Mark is a spoiled man child who has never been told no. That is why a 32 year old man is throwing pasta against the wall. Also, OP wasn't implying Mark is cheap, she's saying he's a disgusting slob who doesn't care about their apartment b/c it isn't his. OP's BF needs to really wake up, otherwise he'll be spending his golden years coddling his brother without a family of his own....

Story 1 NTA the sil is toxic and is only apologising because her husband told her to or he will divorce her. Her apology will not be genuine.

Story3: Massive NTA. OP isn't choosing fish, she's choosing herself, over a bunch of entitled neglectful moochers. She lets them in, it'll be a nightmare to get them out. They won't pay a penny in rent, do zero chores, disrespect both OP and her place. Family, my arse. They made their choices, they can live with the consequences.

Why are the parents in story 1 not bringing the same level of anger and guilt to sister in law? After all, she is the catalyst and the reason her marriage is shit. Why is it OPs responsibility to make sure her SILs marriage doesn’t end? NTA. It’s no wonder SIL was able to go as long as she did with her dramatic bull. She needs to be held accountable for her bs. Husband needs to get the kids and RUN

How tf after everything the SIL did including but not limited to. .Wearing inappropriate clothes at her dead BIl's funeral. .Taking selfies at her BIL funeral and inviting her friends that didn't even know OP's Husband. .Suggesting her sick nephew be put up for adoption because his mom won't be able to date again (Like that should be a priority.). .Making up false rumors of her nephews death off of a phone call. .Spreading those rumors on FaceBook about what she thought was some else's dead child. But no the Parents believe the brother should go back to the wife and OP should forgive the SIL for making it seem like her son died because you want your grandchildren to "have a stable home." If I were the parents I would be telling the brother to get TF away from that women.

I think with Story 4 the only reason it’s an issue now is because daughter was called out on her behavior in front of her husband. That’s why she was “surprised” that there weren’t any pictures of her; she knew she had behaved inappropriately as a child but didn’t want to look bad in front of her husband. I feel that if OP sends her daughter the negatives (the proof of her inappropriate behavior) then it will just make things worse because her daughter only wants to look like the victim, and the negatives will make her look worse.

If my in law trashed my home and threw a plate of food against the wall and my fiance defended him id be moving out and braking up with him you need to run.

In story 2 OP said her boyfriend wanted her to move in with him for two reasons. I think there's a third; he wanted someone to clean up after his slob brother.

There was a further update in the comment chain at 7:41. OP admitted that she took the mess Mark had made, drove to his mother’s house, and dumped everything on Mark’s bed. 😂

The daughter with the aversion for having her picture taken must have been a cat in her last life. I had a cat like that. One of the few pics I have is him posing with a bunch of ugly potting supplies and soil behind him. I'm just pathetically greatful he didn't decide to clean his junk when he saw the camera.

Story 4 well well well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions

Title story: NTA. I'm glad OP's brother is finally standing up to his B of a SiL... mostly. But this request for OP to attend a public apology stinks of rug-sweeping by the family. They're trying to frame OP as being at fault, if brother's marriage falls apart. Hell no, their marriage is NOT OP's problem! OP shouldn't waste one second of her life on SiL. If they get divorced, that's entirely on her crappy choices.

story 1: OP did not answer the phone so SIL's mind immediately went to "her son is dead"? I'll buy that right after I buy some ocean front property in Kansas.

1st OP, your nice and nephew have an unstable home because of a toxic mother, not because of anything you have done.

I really want updates on the last story regarding the photos. Sounds like the daughter has been in her own little world and is just now realizing reality is different.

Story 3 - the parents quitting to look after the daughter is simply hilarious. use dem savings!

the last story seems a lose-lose situation but I want to know if there an update to the album idea of all the picture good and bad helped anything?

"The niece and nephew deserve a stable home." Guessing by SIL's behavior, they aren't living in a stable home.

I made a lot of "funny faces" as a kid growing up in pictures, I regret every single one.

There's no way a person posts publicly that a family member of mine died & I don't punch them in the face. These OPs have self-restraint of saints.

Story 1: Oh for God sake! How can if be your responsibility to save your brothers marriage when it was SIL who blew it up. No way. End of story. Never talk to or speak about this toxic person. Not the AH

Story #2: NTA. OP would lose nothing if she left, immediately. The fact that the boyfriend doesn't see how much of a disgusting, rude slob his brother is, it shows a lot about his own character. Story #3: NTA. Also, this is not about the lizard. It's about how OP's parents did the bare minimum and spoiled the younger sister. It isn't OP's fault that the parents are about to be homeless because they made bad choices with money and quit their jobs for her. Story #4: NTA. Clem chose to act up whenever it was time for photos to be taken, and now she has regrets upon being reminded of her past actions. She literally did this to herself. OP can't force her to sit still everytime she's in front of a camera, especially if this went on until she was 12.

The parents are right. The kids deserved a stable home , that's why their son need to divorce his wife. Who the f announce the death of a child on facebook?! And it's not even hers!

I also dont like pictures and my family has few of myself. Which is fine. However I would never dream on blaming them for that. It was my choice, I pay for it. Many of these cases are all about people unable to understand that decisions have consequences and responsibilities attached to them. Why is this simple and old as fuck concept, been forgotten?

Second story. Huge red flags. I'd be gone if my gf had a sister like that

Ok it really was over a fish. I thought it was a mistake.

Omg. Wow toxic sister in law. Save your brothers children.

1st story: NTA. I feel horrible for the brother, seriously, how you can see someone do so many red flags and think "yeah, let's marry". Honestly, I would had slap that B if she done that. And how OP's parents thinks this is ok? "worry about the kids future" oh, sure, obviously the kids growing with such toxic person is totally a good idea. That isn't a stable home, that isn't a home. 2nd story: NTA. No wonder Mark can't get a job, he acts like a 15 years old who was enable his whole life. I'm surprised his brother deal with so much BS, the brother, and sounds like the rest of BF's family, are huge enablers. I'm glad that at least one the BF finally put his pants up and establish boundaries. 3rd story: NTA. Wow, some serious favoritism. I personally would choose my dog over some of my "family", also, who the heck quits a job mid pandemic?. Also, OP, think this completely. If the move into your place, they will surely treat you like crap all over again, maybe even worse. 4th story: NTA. I don't have a lot of photos either, I personally don't like it to this day, but I still have a few photos like family or the graduation photo. This is on Clem, not on you, OP. She just can't accept that.

S1: NTA. Had OP been me, I probably would have gone to jail at some point during this endeavor. I would also laugh in my parent's face and call them delusional as I will NEVER accept an apology from a monster who thinks that a simple apology will fix things. "She doesn't deserve my forgiveness after everything she's said. As far as I'm concerned, she can get bent." S2: THIS IS A THIRTY TWO YEAR OLD MAN! Op, you're better off leaving the bf and moving back in with your mom. Let the BF pick up after him. After the comments: Now I'm proud of the bf who did this. But I also still agree with the leaving him if this type of behavior doesn't change. S3: NTA. So your parents did the bare minimum, your sister is the GC, and your family is in tatters? "You gave birth to me, yes. But I do not see you as my mother. I do not see you as my family. My fiance is my family. Tell GC to get a job and take care of you seeing as you and dad always favored her over myself." S4: YTA in my opinion. I'm sorry but you stopped taking pictures of her when she wanted to be silly and when you didn't take them, she stopped. It isn't pride. It's you being selfish and wanting her to take the usually smiling, no silly gestures pictures vs something that belies her age. Source: I come from a family that HATES taking pictures but there are pictures of them mean mugging/very clearly NOT wanting to be there.

I know there’s no such thing as a perfect family but I thank GOD my family is nothing like the families I hear about on Reddit 😳

I think r/AITA can sometimes forget that they aren't therapists. They aren't investigators. They aren't marriage counselors. They are random people online who give an opinion. Which isn't unique. Everyone has an opinion. They often assume the worst situation every time instead of asking the sole questions. Stuff like "OP have you shown the texts from your family about his brother's behavior?" They find a point where they determine OP is either TA or not and then assume everyone else has to be the opposite. I was actually a pretty active member of AITA before I left. And this was the main reason. The sub became extremely toxic and overly-judgemental. They were no longer judging the situation. They were also starting to give life advice and start bad-mouyhing people in the story who likely didn't know better. They also forget that when someone tells a story, they exaggerate how good they are and how bad others are. I generally prefer to read the story and then ignore the comments. On r/AITA posts.

....that boyfriend's bro needs a padded room and strait jacket..lmao

#2 I'd break the hell up and RUN right when I saw the God awful disaster the house was in when she got home.

So sick of hearing ppl say "we must work it out, can't raise kids in a broken home!". Oh please! 1. Ok MC could work but omg that SIL is DISGUSTING, I doubt she's capable of ever being remorseful for anything and learn from her mistakes. 2. A miserable marriage causes tension which will hurt the children. Having miserable parents staying married "for the sake of the kids" is way worse than having happier, divorced parents. Yes of course its not ideal, single parenting is certainly very difficult but it's better than the alternative.

story two should dump the boyfriend, and get a restraining order as the brother has proven he is a threat to their health and safety.

Those guys are the real A-holes not the OPs. The SIL, The Twin Brother and Boyfriend, and The Daughter and the family members.

First story, I have a similar one. Years ago I was living in a foreign country and had a coworker that was also from my country. During lunch break one day, she was checking fb and people in our home country were posting news about her teen daughter having died that day at school. The girl was in class and nothing wrong had happened, just one aunt tried to call her and bc phones weren't allowed in class, she didn't pick up, old aunt though she was dead and posted it. There's more to it but god these people are weird, in a bad way.

1st story, brother and SIL are bound to divorce. She's the selfish unapologetic type, she'll probably end up cheating on the husband.

Most of these situations, the person that are in the right should take the insults such as being an AH as a badge of honor. The next time they ask for help, you can just quote them. Remember I'm AH, so why should I help you.

So on top of having her son having surgery, having it falsely put on Facebook that her son is dead, and having to field people asking about her 'dead' son, her family wants her to perform performance art with her sister-in-law to make her sil feel better and to not get a divorce? Too much work, chuck the lot of them.

1st story - I can understand why OPs family is giving her grief about not accepting the apology as they want brother’s family to survive. I don’t think they understand that even if SIL gives that apology, nothing will have changed unless they go to therapy and SIL has an epiphany. SIL actions are a big red flag and brother needs to take the kids (document everything) and divorce that narcissist. OP who’s BF twin trashed the house. Even if BF is telling OP that he sees the light now, how could he have been so blind before? OP should get her own place even if she keeps BF because OP is obviously a mother substitute in that house and BF needs more alone time to grow the hell up and act like a responsible adult. Aquarium OP needs to keep the fish. If OP feels guilty she can contribute towards her parents’ household hold expenses. They probably quit there jobs just so they can move in with OP. They purposely put themselves in that situation and OP is not required to set herself on fire to keep her parents and sister warm.

"Why would you be with someone who doesn't defend you?" These people are the kind hat expect their partner to defend them even when they are in the wrong. In this case, OP is in the right, but if he comes to the wrong conclusion himself, that's a sign of poor logic, which is a problem.

I always thought evil twins are a cliché, but it seems there do exist in real life.

Story 1: definitely NTA! Op, you DON'T own that SIL anything 😡😡! Especially after what she did

Im sorry, but so... are we just ginna gloss over the fact that the OP in the 2nd story HAD 2ND DEGREE BURNS AND WENT TO THE ER, AND THE BROTHER TOLD HER TO SHUT UP??? DOES BF EVEN KNOW THAT HAPPENED?

For the last story: I completely understand why OP didn't print out those pictures if the daughter made "rude" gestures (ten-to-one she's flipping off the camera). I'm amazed that OP didn't throw away the pics, but at least she'll have something to give her daughter. I also lack as many photos as my siblings, but that's because I'm usually behind the camera and very critical of the pictures. Being allowed to avoid family pictures is mind-boggling to me: it essentially looks like you purposely excluded your daughter to people.

Story 2s replies are a massive reddit moment. Instead of working through your relationship issues like an adult just leave your partner and get a restraining order on them.

Do not, under any circumstances, move in with your BF. Let BF's brother continue to destroy BF's place and eat BF's food, but don't clean up and don't buy groceries for there. Let BF deal with his brother. Tell your BF you'd rather pay rent to your mother any day of the week than deal with his belligerent and rude brother.

My fish mean the world to me. Literally one of the only reasons why im still alive. I rescue fish. I have 3 aquariums. Ive dumped nearly 2000$ into all 3 of em. Im building my own aquarium rn as well. Its not a hobby, these are pets too, its a way of life.

I was once burned very severely to the point that I had a 1 in 10 chance of surviving my injuries, while on life support someone had spread a rumor that my mom was planning to end the life support, obviously she didn't and her doing so was just a pervasive falsehood, but my brother's best friend who is as much a brother to me as well, was heartbroken and devastated until my brother could tell him several hours later that it was a hoax, this was before widespread use of cell phones, and my brother had been visiting me in the hospital, still in critical condition, so yeah that first story was a bit heavy, and you need not entertain any apology as none would make what your sil spread around acceptable

Story 1: I think OP is well within her rights to not accept the forced apology, but I feel like the brother is taking the easy way out on OPs shoulders. It would be better if they'd work together if he wants out instead of just "I'm not going to do anything until OP accepts the apology" or some other crap. Story 4: How do you put someone on blast in front of 1 person? Unless it was a big family gathering it sounded like only her SO was present who didn't know about her picture problem before.

The first OP is not responsible for her brothers marriage problems, his wife is and she needs to be the one to fix it. This is not OP's problem to solve and the parents are the AH's for expecting her ( the victim ) to. The parents clearly aren't thinking straight if they actually want their son to be married to this horrible person. If I were OP I wouldn't want to ever speak to that piece of trash ever again either , nope not even for the lame ridiculous excuse of an apology she would offer.

Story 2: Get out of that house and find a new boyfriend.

story 1: NTA what she did is unforgivable, i hope the brother kicks her to the curb where she belongs story 2: NTA, dump your boyfriend OP, if he supports his brother's abuse of you then he's not someone you want in your life story 3: NTA it's almost like consequences have actions. they treated OP like trash her entire life and now demand to be taken care off? fuck that story 4: NAH, not OP's fault that Clem didn't want any pics taken, Clem ain't in the wrong either. as someone who also was very camera shy as a kid/teen and did everything to avoid being in pictures i do regret it, wish i had more pics of myself growing up but in the end i know it's my own fault.

I’m not first, but I gotta admit, there is something fun about seeing a relatively empty comments section. 🤣. Meanwhile, what is wrong with OP’s parents in the first story? What part of “the reason the kids will suffer is they have a lunatic for a mother” don’t they get? OP’s brother needs to grow a pair of something (balls, brain cells, whatever it takes) and get those kids away from their ‘mother’. Last story, and I admit that I’m really reaching here, is it possible that “Clem” suffered some kind of trauma/abuse of which OP is not aware? The change in behavior seems really drastic. Anybody have other thoughts about that?

Story 1: nta. Your feelings are understandable. You want follow the golden rule, but you have no obligation to this person. Story 2: nta. However, break it off! If need be, legally evict your boyfriend. If I could go back and do it again, i would have in 1 situation. Story 3: you're not wrong to refuse family. Reinforce boundaries you set and remember, they don't have to like it. Story 4: give her the negatives or digital downloads. Neuroscience research shows that young peoples brains are fully developed around age 25 or so. At 26 y. o. she may be actually be old enough to want photos but genuinely surprised at the extent of the effect of her conduct. She still has to live with the consequences.

1st story..NTA..go NC to family who pressures you..its brother decision to divorce the b or not. And I would not accept her apology and would not speak to her ever..Keep the post of what she said as a reminder of what kind of person she REALLY is. What she posted was intentional and cruel..She has no love for you and your son. 2nd story..Leave them in their own mess. Go back home and save up your money for your own place.Stop cleaning up after them. 3rd story..Please, Please, Please..DO NOT let them live in your house. DO NOT even consider it. I dont care what family and so-call friends says. You were mistreat as a child. You went LNC when you moved out. You did this for a reason. Believe me it will not go well for you and you wont be able to get them out.

Story 2. Let's start this out. NTA. Next, please leave this relationship and find a guy. I'll save the insults, but the words "Leech," "Violent," and "Dirty" come to mind.

SIL AGAIN, needs to be the center of attention and found a way, using a child and false notices of his death. Now a public apology, oh yeah she's sucking it up. guaranteed she put that idea in his head. And now the victim is being "blamed" for everything and they want her to be confronted by her bully.

Story 3: Both parents quit to take care of your sister and now expect you to take care of all of them? NTA and go/stay NC they can work and support their own butts.

As a lizard lover, that 3rd story ticked me off.

That grandparents in the first story are bloody idiots. If she can pull this bs with OP what the hell is she going to put her husband and kids through? He needs to take the kids and run far far away from this mess of a woman

Story 2: Im normally not one of those ppl who just goes straight for "breakup" in these stories but in this case I think it's necessary. The twin will be around for the long-term and based off his outburst I don't think he's above getting violent. Not a safe person to be around

About the daughter upset over the lack of family photos including her image when when she deliberately spoiled them...would it be possible the daughter has a problem with a body image disorder? Someone who has body dysmorphia disorder will see flaws were done exsist or are very very minor. And perhaps she is worried that by excluding her pictures its because as her parents you agree that she is unattractive and not worthy of your love and by preemptively spoiling the photo she gave her self a out for being in the family photos. I know its a bit topsy turvy thinking but thats the problem with dysmorphia disorder, common sense doesn't come into it. Perhaps the parent should pick a picture even if the daughter has made a face or something and frame it and put a caption on it " we're so proud of our daughter she always is a true individual and marches to her own beat". We all just want to be seen and understood.

Sorry in story 4 YTA. It was your job to insist that your 8 year old sit still for the photos. Geez be a parent

1st story so upsetting. Nta brother needs to leave her. 2nd story you have a toxic relationship if he allows this to continue 3rd story your a legend they are disgusting. Don't cave to none of them

I don't really agree to what everyone said about the photoalbum. My parents would never exclude any picture of me even if I did a rude gesture in them because I hated getting my pics. My mom love to point out in some of them where I showed clear signs of wanting to bit the person holding/taking pics of me when I was little and now as an adult it have become a fond memory and a topic to talk about. So my verdict would be YTA for "giving up" taking pics of good moments in life just because of the person in question have a persenality of thier own, good or bad.

I think Mark wants his brother girlfriend gone so he can move in a mooch on his brother.

did anybody else notice a story one The sister made a public false statement on FB and wants to apologize privately (not on FB) in person.

Hola amigos.

Why make a apology public that should be something between the involved parties not bystanders

That last story pisses me off. If you pull shit as a child, you don’t get to fucking dare blow up about your fuckshit and say you didn’t get the things you “deserved”.

Dear lord that first story. I would have ripped the parents a new one, not only are they ignoring the OP's hurt in all of this but they're essentially taking the bitch's side in this. She's pregnant, so what? They shouldn't be blaming OP for her brother's failing marrige that the SIL torpedoed multiple times with no care whatsoever. Way to turn on the victim in all of this.

Red flag get out while u can. Twins r weird in the best of times.

Crazy twin brothers. RUN LIKE HELL!!!! They will never be better. Ever. Move back with your mother. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. Run like hell!!!

Why do I feel like the daughter in The Last Story a phone through some form of social anxiety disorder when she was a kid the only thing you through it especially when I came down the photographs just making smiley faces and funny gestures. I think the mother has more pictures of her she just doesn't want them to be seen and I think quite frankly she should have got her daughter professional help when she realized that she stopped making those gestures and funny faces when pictures will not be in taking the eight nine 10 11 12 on. In addition I would seriously apologize to her and ask her why did you make those gestures at the age and it may be a social problem in a mental problem that's going on with her daughter that she may need professional help with this. If she doesn't then she may end up losing her daughter and her first grandchild altogether

Did they ever look into why the daughter in Story #4 was so averse to having her photo taken? I wonder if she had some self esteem issues, considering she'd cringe while looking at the photo album.

I need an update for the first one

The son in the first story is okay, right?

2:16 stable home? I don't know how OP's brother kid live or deal with their mom but nope, I am pretty sure the kids live will be more miserable living with a toxic mom

7:01 NTA, unfortunately it is your BF’s house though, and you can’t control how he treats his brother or accommodates him unless he puts your life in danger.

Story#2 move back home and dump the boyfriend if he doesn’t put his brother out and on notice.. #3 parents quit their jobs so it’s on them if they’re homeless! They sound like a pair of losers!

How did first story not clean her clock.

Story 4: Yta. she was a kid, kids generally make goofy faces when photographed, I made silly faces when photographed and my mom didn't say I ruined the picture and put me off of having photos taken.

Nope don't apologize to mark. Get a new BF

Story 4, yta. Kids are allowed to take goofy photos. Hell, my mom would take over an hour to get one family photo. She is a control freak that had to have the perfect photo. It would ruin family events. Everyone would be happy then mom wants her pictures and the party is ruined. She would cry, scream, and whine if we didnt play along.

She should leave the bohfriend with the toxic boyfriend.

Story 2 sounds made up

Yea I was gonna have to chime in that there are plenty of fish that are absolutely ah's! I have 4 separate 150 gallon tanks with plenty of ah fish! Hahahahaha sadly I have very little pictures of myself over my life because of the same thing, I was always nervous about pictures or something so I would ruin or refuse them. I kid you not my 1st grade class photo of my class on the steps outside the school is me sticking tongue out and while it is classic in hindsight, I still vividly remember at the time and thought I did it before it was taken because I did it before the flash clicked even though it was broad day. I remember the anxiety of being told I had my tongue 👅out when the pictures were developed and thought I was gonna be in so much trouble but it was more or less laughed off.