Stephen Colbert's Cyborgasm: Sex Robot Edition

Рет қаралды 305,461

6 жыл бұрын

This rendition of 'Cyborgasm' really earns the back half of the portmanteau.
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Пікірлер: 453

@myrarolston 6 жыл бұрын

I always knew that bespectacled parrot was too good to be a real person.

@r.h.f.6073 6 жыл бұрын

stephen wants that internet beef with john oliver

@swampy6194 6 жыл бұрын

R. H.F. Stephen would have been more than Johns equal if he had stayed with the Colbert Report and hadn't sold out for the Late Show. Thankfully though, he leaves David Letterman for dead and has really improved the show.

@rysun8709 6 жыл бұрын

That would be done tasty beef

@whiskeySe7en 6 жыл бұрын

No no you fools. It is simply cross promotion. They both share the same audience. Most people here also watch Oliver

@eizapez3549 6 жыл бұрын

whiskey jack...well stated Jack.

@MichaelAronson 6 жыл бұрын

"Stephen would have been more than Johns equal if he had stayed with the Colbert Report and hadn't sold out for the Late Show. Thankfully though, he leaves David Letterman for dead and has really improved the show." Wait wait . . . he sold out . . . and would have been John's equal . . . except he's already improved things . . . so he didn't sell out and is John's equal?

@Pandor25 6 жыл бұрын

What is my purpose? You pass butter.

@DearDextra 6 жыл бұрын

Hurt starts to play in the background.

@gloomyblackfur399 6 жыл бұрын

More purpose than any of us. "Welcome to the club, pal."

@rsand2009 6 жыл бұрын

"HBO has an entire show" Yep. Westworld. Pic of John Oliver. 💀

@paulramos4037 6 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a highly advanced dominatrix! BRING IT ON!!!

@KingOfMadCows 6 жыл бұрын

It's like a more realistic Kardashian.

@earlofdoncaster5018 6 жыл бұрын

I thought the first sex robot sounded like the Queen. But yeah she looked more Kardashian than Kardashian.

@mueffe1357 6 жыл бұрын

Science is immoral and agnostic. If we can do it we should do it. If not, there would be no cars, planes or even internet that supposedly somewhere in a document Al-Gore said we should do it. Thanks Al-Gore.

@burbanpoison2494 6 жыл бұрын

+Eddie Panedi if there isn't any shame in it, what are you paying her for?

@riparianlife97701 6 жыл бұрын

Realistic Kardashian does not compute.

@LividImp 6 жыл бұрын

It's like a Kardashian, but less dead inside.

@paulramos4037 6 жыл бұрын

Jon Stewart's 2020 President and Stephen Colbert's VP 2020, I want John Oliver as the UK Ambassador. Trevor's good as UN Ambassador.

@cocob0l0 6 жыл бұрын

Paul Ramos YES PLEASE

@odinlinga 6 жыл бұрын

But John Oliver is already the Secretary of the Treasury

@brutalnewt 6 жыл бұрын

What about Samantha Bee?

@aurorajauco1817 6 жыл бұрын

Xxx

@brian554xx 6 жыл бұрын

Chilling to imagine we just heard Jon Batiste have a stroke.

@Pandor25 6 жыл бұрын

Sex robot are coming? Well good for them i say.

@LazyProphet42 6 жыл бұрын

Where do they get off?

@keithpryor411 6 жыл бұрын

Central Processing Station

@Games_and_Music 6 жыл бұрын

Robots that can't cum, pinnacle of cruelty, making a robot to make us come, while they NEVER experience an orgasm ever, especially ironic being on "Cyborgasm" bit.

@johnwestcott5612 6 жыл бұрын

At least someone is cumming.

@PuppetStringHolder 6 жыл бұрын

I, for one, welcome our new sexbot overlords.

@Ryjacard 6 жыл бұрын

3:40 Jon's doing the new Joker laugh lol

@emercycrite 6 жыл бұрын

Jon Batiste missed his calling as the crypt keeper from Tales from the Crypt

@EvenInArcadiaIExist 6 жыл бұрын

LOL

@goblinounours 6 жыл бұрын

I just figured out at 3:34 that Jean-Baptiste's laugh reminds me of Jared Letho's Joker laugh. That's creeping me out, right now.

@jorabohem 6 жыл бұрын

You know, you're right.....weird.

@DalithaMW 6 жыл бұрын

*Joke, audience laugh, audience quiets down* "AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH"

@jimsvideos7201 6 жыл бұрын

Marital aid for your Kitchenaid sounds like a joke the Futurama writers would kick themselves for missing.

@murrtravis1 6 жыл бұрын

This whole bit had me dying laughing, Stephen Colbert... I love you man.

@epicmediocrity2603 6 жыл бұрын

lol..johns come back will be epic.lmao

@masungayongiro 6 жыл бұрын

"You could actually end up dead" is my middle name....XD

@Cancun771 6 жыл бұрын

This segment brought to you by the complaints devision of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. Choose your personal emoting door today!

@XeviousD 6 жыл бұрын

Alternate Translations of Female Personalities: Tsundere, Yandere, Kuudere, Dandere to name a few!

@samuelschonenberger 6 жыл бұрын

But Stephen we already know that you have a Sex Robot! She was with you in Jimmy Kimmel's show

@MrTsa1992 6 жыл бұрын

Craig ang Geoff were so ahead of their time

@thesoundsmith 6 жыл бұрын

"Sex robots are coming?" Sorry, Steven, they.re just faking it...

@FeltzyBoy 6 жыл бұрын

I still can't get over the fact the sex robot has knives and welding tools

@greymouser8659 6 жыл бұрын

The rob-oxymoron? A John Oliver/English model?

@AndreasA.S. 6 жыл бұрын

what i got from this bit. "hotdog down the hall of presidents."

@sapphirology 6 жыл бұрын

1:10 I need that coffee maker. 💀☕

@hiredsword 6 жыл бұрын

"Clearly Sex robots are coming" I see what you did there.

@julianaoliveira3736 6 жыл бұрын

Sexy robots, what a time to be alive

@stone1andonly 6 жыл бұрын

The Sarah Palin model they've had out for years is still more lifelike.

@ck-one4172 6 жыл бұрын

The matrix is coming for you 😂😂😂

@kylenguyen7371 6 жыл бұрын

I was waiting for this to become a segment from the Colbert Report's "Threat Down" towards the end there.

@a.bourne6386 6 жыл бұрын

These violent delights....

@johnyliltoe 6 жыл бұрын

Automation spares no industry. Even the oldest industry in existence.

@foxsmith770 6 жыл бұрын

Kid me: In the future robots will do all the jobs humans don't want to do Future: "Sex robots up for 15k" Me: Yup pretty much right 😆

@TheReal008Zulu 6 жыл бұрын

These robots have to be easier on your junk than an electric eggbeater.

@tycobb9869 6 жыл бұрын

something about the whole "sex robots who weld" made me lose it

@naoise555 6 жыл бұрын

"Clean your chimney?" could mean something different if you're a sex robot.

@ResidentTarantino 6 жыл бұрын

Three words I'd thought I'd never hear come out of Stephen's mouth would be "lay some pipe"

@JingelJjay 6 жыл бұрын

Remember remember the 9th of November?

@gaiusscipio 6 жыл бұрын

Stephen: "Sex robots are coming" My head (yes, the little one): So will I as soon as I can afford one.

@sideonsid2885 6 жыл бұрын

This bit is straight out of the Colbert Report .

@coffeeshangarworkshop8051 6 жыл бұрын

You know John Oliver is going to comment, at some heavilly accented length, on being called a Sexy Cyborg...I, can't, wait.

@gaylehori7387 6 жыл бұрын

How can one person be so talented?

@michaelsparkson 6 жыл бұрын

Cyborgasm: Sex robots are coming.

@daviddrahmann4209 6 жыл бұрын

I want the Coffee Machine.

@mark- 6 жыл бұрын

that sketch was so funny 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😛

@ninjafruitchilled 6 жыл бұрын

If they make it look like Ana de Armas then I'm sold

@deannasmith4443 6 жыл бұрын

good goddess... i weep for humanity. tears of laughter... but you get the idea.

@Greg-TC 6 жыл бұрын

The blowtorch thing is probably for dabbing. If I had one of those robots I would totally make it hear up my nail for me

@alotosius 6 жыл бұрын

eeeeeeh... they are getting there.

@coltonallgire1135 6 жыл бұрын

Speaking of Mindless Robots, where had *Kellyann Conway* gone to?

@allen4659 3 жыл бұрын

JOHNNY CARSON....WE NEED YOU NOW

@michelemaliano7860 6 жыл бұрын

That’s one expensive blow up doll.

@EsotericDesi 6 жыл бұрын

LOL!

@jerrycrock3701 6 жыл бұрын

HOOK ONE OF THOSE ROBOTS UP TO A DYSON... YOU MIGHT BE ON TO SOMETHING BIG

@stirthepot8892 6 жыл бұрын

ello, I'm a robot 😂

@TroutBoneless 6 жыл бұрын

stephens best bits are the ones where he doesnt talk about politics lol

@augustuscaeser8939 6 жыл бұрын

thanks john for those comments

@aegisslayer5808 6 жыл бұрын

Hackers could program sex robots...to kill... oh god...Ghost in The Shell was a prophet...

@mavendeo 6 жыл бұрын

I used to be a sex boot. I was too successful. My milkshake brought all the bots to the yard.

@mkr7885 6 жыл бұрын

Lmao😂

@Shadowcam00 6 жыл бұрын

*WARNING: KEEP GENITALS CLEAR OF MOVING PARTS*

@derrekcornell7646 6 жыл бұрын

this would have been a good time for an appearance by Geoff Peterson.

@Maeglin7936 6 жыл бұрын

This puts me in the mind if the anime Chobits. Granted, they hadn't been made as sex 'toys'. In the anime it reached the point that people preferred AI's over other people. To me that was rather scary because I can actually see that happening.

@kylefox2397 6 жыл бұрын

Jon Baptiste sounds like Jared Leto Joker in this one

@FireOccator 6 жыл бұрын

If the sex bot can do all of those things then she would be more useful as a labor worker.

@fredm.2699 6 жыл бұрын

Lol “laying pipe.” Who does Stephen hang out with??

@namhcat5212 6 жыл бұрын

♪ Sex Robot, Sex Robot, Sex Robot, Sex Robot. ♫ "Do you wanna get down? Sexing up your town~!" What did we learn here today?

@mcusher2753 6 жыл бұрын

Has anyone noticed that it's that it's roast other comedians day? Stephen roasts John Oliver. Trevor Noah roasts Conan. Conan roasts himself.

@christophermzdenek 6 жыл бұрын

$15k...still cheaper than an ex-wife and child support.

@vissenekku 6 жыл бұрын

I would totally teach one to weld.

@SuperSmashDolls 6 жыл бұрын

>Who's teaching their sex robots to weld? There was a game a few months ago about that...

@Fifthelement203 6 жыл бұрын

Who remembers Kevin? From the jay Leno show? Jon Baptiste’s laugh reminds me of him lol. So annoying but sometimes u can’t help but laugh

@M12GProductions 6 жыл бұрын

I'm just waiting for robots to reach Chobits quality.

@AkashPi 6 жыл бұрын

ok tbh i️ actually really enjoy jon batistes little interjections lol

@UsenameTakenWasTaken 6 жыл бұрын

Oh, Imma be putting my parts inside a robot, alright. If you know what I mean...

@Kulascus 6 жыл бұрын

This was a little judgy

@ButtBandito55 6 жыл бұрын

A little? Couldn't have been less judgy if this was a case in internaional court.

@twinodoom 6 жыл бұрын

I don’t know why anyone is teaching sex robots to weld, but I think I can elaborate on the knives part.

@_crispins 6 жыл бұрын

@spookyrosev6467 6 жыл бұрын

Why the fuck would a sex robot have knives in the first place? That article’s defiently just paranoid

@ducksplain 6 жыл бұрын

So... 2B when? Asking for a... friend.

@bombardus3615 6 жыл бұрын

That robot has something of Milania........

@riparianlife97701 6 жыл бұрын

My girlfriend is already part cyborg. And she already had them, so I didn't have to buy them.

@markschwarz2137 6 жыл бұрын

Wicked! Come on John Oliver--strike back!

@allankoivu3263 6 жыл бұрын

Most of the people who want this can't afford it....

@tomdomagalski3679 6 жыл бұрын

Must be quiet day. Seen that sexbot material months ago on guardian's channel

@thearchibaldtuttle 6 жыл бұрын

Still cheaper than getting married

@SwiftHungrySwallow 6 жыл бұрын

Was that Jared Leto laughing @3:37 ???

@danbee6103 6 жыл бұрын

Sex with robots...whatever, Ive got my reliable handy dandy hand.

@tabularasa0606 6 жыл бұрын

It'll make it much easier to surf porn.

@majorchaotic5544 6 жыл бұрын

Sex robots that kill...? This doesn’t mean we can’t be charged with domestic violents with a robot, right?

@ButtBandito55 6 жыл бұрын

I don't know man. As a guy not afraid to die and bound to be "forever alone", I don't think this is a bad idea. Unless something drastically changes in the world, I can imagine me buying one.

@Jerricola2 6 жыл бұрын

The future is now.

@TheRealSpork. 6 жыл бұрын

Beef

@tycobb9869 6 жыл бұрын

wow they look a lot more attractive on Amazon than they do here

@Cludensyo 6 жыл бұрын

3:44 mario death riff

@rebelliousnature4795 6 жыл бұрын

This reminds me of Craig Ferguson and Geoff Peterson his skeleton robot co host.... ahh, miss that late night host..

@benoit1335 6 жыл бұрын

#runslinux hahaha

@djtomoy 9 күн бұрын

I’ve had it with one of those robots…was ok

@floyd75dylan 6 жыл бұрын

You do realise that mock accent you did of John Oliver is an insult to Brummies world wide, & can occur the wrath of Ozzy who will bite your head off.