i would honestly help out my family with any debt

Keep some of it in a very secure bank account and invest some of it

Pay my loans, pay off my credit card (then cancel it) and then buy a ton of gift cards. BWF

Invest it in making more money, then invest in scientific research.

hundreds of thousands of hamburgers

The only thing I’m asking is why she didn’t clock that ungrateful sil who already was taken on a vacation

My question is why didn't the husband punch that Uncle in his jaw for slapping his wife? And I was her, those other would've got nothing thanks to their parents behavior! I would've disowned everyone of them!😡

@@chasebowman9815 by the caliber of people they’ve already shown themselves to be they would most likely sue her if she punched them, even if it was self defense.

Family destroyed it way before the money, entitlement and greed. Remember she said she hadn't heard from many of them in 5 to 10 years.

@@PrivateMrs.T 🤔could he sue her if the husband would've popped him one good time for hitting her? I mean especially since her and her husband agree that it's "HER" money instead of "their" money? Asking just in case this happens to me. Lol

Jarrod I almost spit out my coffee when I read your comment! Great analogy!!!

@@FoxyMomma4ever There's a great article on the internet somewhere. Some lady left some bird feeders on her porch. At first, the birds came and went. Then, they all moved in under the porch and started crapping everywhere. Then, they would get loud and noisy and dive bomb this woman when the feeders ran out. She ended up removing the feeders and her porch has never been more peaceful. Made me think of that.

Single best reply!!!!!!

Kranberry I know, right?!?

Sums up what i wanted to say 👏👏

Yes, your money, it's your business bank info.

One of the corporate lawyers I know does this. He and his wife have very standard but nice cars and live in a modest home. He and I got chatting about vacations one day and that's where I learned he spends his money. He takes his kids and wife on very nice vacations every year. I'm also pretty sure that his grandkids have amazing trust funds set up.

Yup!

*Communism intensifies*

I worked for an old man that drove an Oldsmobile junker of a car, wore suits that looked like they came from goodwill but, my checks never bounced. I found out later that all of his grandkids had $20+ million trust funds, his wife and he went to Paris, Cancun, anywhere they wanted and they'd take the kids and grandkids too. None of his brothers or sisters knew though.

That is why in some states like the state of California you can have your name removed from the winning announcement to protect yourself from anyone you don't want to know that you won money. You can also have a 3rd party like an attorney claim the money in your place.

🤣🤣

Lol

😂😂😂😂😂😂

My wicked stepmother came into a million dollars a few years ago. It made the online edition of the newspaper. She was quoted as saying people would be coming out of the woodwork. I left a message there, that I wasn’t going to ask for anything, but wished her well. My father had died years before. Trust me when I tell you, she didn’t deserve that respect.

You'll never hear a woman say that though. If he was smart he'll cash out and demand half. Any female would do the same

@@johnreed9050 Or maybe we could have faith in humanity and do an actual positive relationship. Although from my perspective the husband and wife a team and as such the money is 'our' money. However, all purchases should be agreed upon.

@@natestevenson3083 Well good luck with that. All my friends that have been screwed over believed the same thing.

@@johnreed9050 Why would he do that? From his perspective that would be like throwing half the money he has access to away, together with his wife and lots of friends and family who won't like him very much afterwards.

@@gonun69 News flash. They don't like him much anyway

Tell me about it what are they eating caviar for diner and Kobe steak? Your mortgage is paid off your kids college fund is paid off why are you not saving 70% of your salary ? There poor personality wise so will always be poor even if they have money as will spend it all and be poor again.

@Sith Jawa No, selfishness and greed at its Worst, not finest.

Entitled creations!

That's how you create entitlement. People usually don't appreciate things when they don't earn them.

yes but howabout they have a dang Staycation like the rest of us workerbees? Spoiled people are rotten

My friend always was bugging me to agree to pay him if I ever won the lottery, so I made up giving him a million in cash, and his next co-driver Did win a million, and paid off my friend's pick-up truck of $25,000. Then the same guy won $40,000 on a gambling boat!

@@alfr1 wow, I need some of that luck

I would be happy for a car. Not even a new one but an old car. Actually a 1978. With a bit for license plate and other transfer expenses only. I will pay everything else. I just would be extremely great full for it.

me too

Attempted robbery. He was literally sitting at her house and waiting for to intimidate and beat her so that he could rob her.

@@daphneraven9439 you mean extortion

She needs to let it rain restraining orders, pressing charges, cutting them off, and exposing their asses on social media. Go nuclear! Or Better yet, atomic!

And jailed.

Wow, you're right...

great point but im sure the courts etc would see that it was self defence and his claim would have failed especially if it was on camera that he struck first

@@diamonddiva3204 but he didn’t know that there were cameras and he had 15-20 “witnesses” that would definitely pick his side

@@marywebb_22 it doesn't matter if he knew or not and it dont matter if there was a 100 people there. She stated the cameras could see and hear. Hearing alone puts all these people in trouble after they demand money from her lol they all should be arrested for extortion except op and her husband.

Jail time for uncle.

Exactly, she has already been extremely generous and people should be thankful without expecting anything more than she has done!! It is HER money, and if she wants to wipe her ass with 100 dollar bills, that's her prerogative (and I bet that greedy ass family would be brawling for thos poo 💩 covered 100's too🤣

I agree, she did more for "the family" than most would ever even think of doing especially considering they are not a close knit family, it's one thing for someone to do something like what she did of her volition vs someone thinking they are entitled to a "share" of money they had not earned just because a family member did earn it.

You're damn right

It's just normal human behavior. Give someone anything, they'll take it for granted that it should always be given to them, and then some.

"Well, at least we're not asking a million for each one!"

@@FaydOgolon Yah, anything over 999k is just being greedy....hehe

Probably the Moon.

exactly my thoughts but probably because she loves the kids and it seems she does not have kids her own (yet) maybe she loves these nephews and nieces more and the rest of the family did stay away and did cut ties a long time ago and are only coming back now since they heard of money... disgusting people...

Gecko 2.6 Yes, whenever I day dream about winning the lottery it starts by wondering what I can do for my sister and her girls!

@@Ozziecatsmom I don't have kids either but I allways think how I could help make a collegefund for my nephiew and help my closest friends with their problems

@@Ozziecatsmom not sure if you're joking because when I fantasize about winning it that's what I do, guesstimate how much I'd give family and friends. That way I have a ballpark on how much I can blow on other stuff.

Tony Blake Nope, not joking! I also think about which charities I'd give to, my local dog and cat rescues coming in first. I also day dream about driving up to my sister's in a purple car for her. That's her favourite colour and I don't think she'd get one even if she could afford it.

That's what a moat filled with piranhas is for.

I would tell some people. People I can trust. An if anyone started getting greedy, I'd just cut them out of my life. Part of the problem they made, was being super generous right from the start. Without even being like "Yo we didn't have to do this, but we thought it'd be nice to bless y'all. We can't really do this all the time or for everyone, but...we decided to do something nice for y'all" INstead it was more like "YOu didn't treat us the best and we're just giving money away to ALL family members. Because we can." If you let people think they CAN be Entitled, they WILL be entitled often times. Personally tho, when I dated a girl who had more money than me...I never tried to hit her up for money. I never just expected her to pay for all my meals. Anything she gave me I saw as a gift freely given, and NOT an entitlement. Surround yourself with the kind of people who care for People more than Money. Who know that you don't owe them your wealth.

Who cares. I wouldn't give a shot if my fam knows or not. I would care if I had all the money in the world

I'd move to another country. If they want to harass me, they can pay for plane tickets to come see me

Been there this is the best answer.

Difference here is that sil was being a bitch and telling the rest of the family about it.

People are ghouls. A story of many years ago....My mum's grandfather passed away. My mum the eldest of the family went to the grandfathers house to get his goods and chattels for lack of better words. All the ( or most of ) grandma's jewellery was already gone to the vultures, virtually overnight. The few pieces that were found including a pair of gold teardrop earrings ( very old ) that were left behind as one of the ghouls had given them the tooth test and found they were not solid gold. They left teeth marks in both earrings thus destroying them and threw them back in the box. To this day my mum still has them. Note: they were indeed quite valuable ( she had them valued for curiosity sake,value B4 the damage ) . The ghouls through their selfishness and ignorance discarded value. Those earrings are still stored safely away. Ain't Karma wonderful !!!

Gold is soft and can be dented with teeth bite.

@@jackreacher3499 Depends on the amount of alloy in the gold. Much less than 22 kt and you will break your teeth without marking it. You see a lot of scenes in TV and movies biting gold to see if it is real, but in reality back when people used to do that (gold coins actually being in circulation) they weren't biting to see if it was gold, they were biting to make sure it wasn't gold plated lead. If your teeth left clear marks on it then it was BAD.

No one ever owes another any explanation for anything. Especially not finances.

sounds like higher six figures... or maybe she got a lot out of investments or founding some sort of flourishing business... who knows...

Sounds more like 7 figures...

@Denise Christie depends on the country, with a sixfigure income I would be considered rich in my counzry so...

Grateful or not, you can't give people things without expecting something in return. If you do, they will end up being entitled and demand more and more from you. You will hinder them.

It's gotta be at least high six figures. She paid off mortgages for several homes and put aside money for a college education for about 13 kids. For 5 years of education im guessing the amount would be around 100k assuming 20k a year seems pretty normal for a in state non private college.

From this day onward, those are not family anymore. Not to me!

There are reasons why Scrooge McDuck built his fortress, I mean, money bin up a hill with booby traps around it.

@@mflax4331 Well probably wouldn't go so far , but they be distant distant relatives, I'm gonna change my phone number and not even let them know where I really live, if you be a nuisance with me I'm gonna hide from you like The face of God when you've been sinning!

Cleansing it by bringing it out in to the strong light of day, which is a really good disinfectant.

This is the OPs fault. It's what she gets for trying to play savior. Her arrogance, disguised as goodwill, is what created the situation. You cannot start handing out money and expect the whole world not to line up. So instead of making life better for everyone in her extended family she has now divided it. When you give stuff to people, especially those who aren't asking for it or appreciative of it, you end up spoiling them and they become entitled.

@@zm6301 Um...yeah..nope you are wrong.

@@raulcastro3277 The OPs experience proves me right whether you like it or not. You can't change human nature. It was her arrogance that led her to believe she could make Peeples lives better by giving them stuff, then some of them threw it in her face. Her guilt will lead her to keep "helping" and thus keep dividing because it's apparent none of them will ever be satisfied let alone grateful.

@@zm6301 Uh...yeah...no you are wrong.

that is correct, not all kin are family and not all family are blood. I think the real kicker for me is when she relates the story of what she was told years back when she asked for help. And reflected on that back at those who said it. Those people aren't family.

Money from others, even family, is a GIFT. It's something they WANT to do, NOT have to do.

Right? If I had a family member with money and they were generous like that (college funds etc), if I needed money for something and wanted it from them particularly, I'd bring up a LOAN. It's not my money. I didn't earn it.

Like your line of thinking.

I had to cut off some of my mother’s side of family especially after she died. They were very phony with grieving and they stole what little money she saved for my son and I as well as her meds. I was even threatened to see a picture of her dead body because she overdosed and my husband had called them out on it. Should I ever come into money they’d be around and only get 🖕from me

It sounds like she only gave college money to the kids that she has a good relationship with. Which is fine.

No this is extremly insane tbh

Where do you go / What do you do for $200-$300? I'd love to know!

Lol

$35,000 is insane for a vacation! $35,000 is a good down payment for a house or money for a good kitchen/bathroom renovation, something that would improve your life and be an investment. The entitlement to expect someone else to pay for a vacation at that price is astounding and worse when you consider that OP paid off their mortgage and is putting their 5 kids through college. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

it is insane dude 35k is a brand new fucking car and that family expected OP to pay that amount for a little vacation

Exactly... 💯wys!

Exactly. I'm happy to be extremely generous as long as it's my own decision, but force my hand and there'll be nothing.

When I was an intern teacher, I did the same thing! The other teachers warned me, but I didn't listen. But, I learned to listen! I gave the kids food instead of money. They never bothered me again.

Ah yes remind me my 4th grade some kids asked me for mh dollar so they buy cookies. They never share them with me, when I mentioned they owes me a dollar, they say what dollar? That is when I quickly cut them off immediately never talk with them again. Same thing when people borrow my pencil for class, I made this rule, I never tell anyone. If they never give back my pencil, if they say honestly they forgot it. I will forgive them to give my spares pencils. But when they tells a lie like I did give you my pencil back. Seriously you can't lie in front of me like that. Sadly not once, that anyone tell me the truth, I do have another option for them to buy a pencil from me instead or give me a replacement pencil what they lost or borrow. Man glad I have this mind set early on, expect giving some money part.

This is why you never feed a stray...they come back every time they are hungry

The OP can also slap her in the face but she didn't do it. See? How generous of the OP lol

Bill Gates is about to lose half.

@@jasondyrkacz8270 I hope he loses more then money. Half to Melissa and he's still a billionaire. I want to hear some juicy stories about the "REAL BILL GATES" though I'm not holding my breath.

She should have given it (the handout) as a loan

I don't agree with that. If she was close with them and wanted to help, it's her money she can do whatever. I'm not mad my two rich uncles don't spend a dime on me (even when they come for Christmas and we all exchange gifts). It's theirs. My feelings used to get hurt bc I truly love my family but decided it was not worth getting upset over because I don't see them enough to let it bother me. Even if I'm bringing him something, that was my choice, he didn't ask for that. Rich or not being descent is great. It's harder to stay rich if you give everyone everything though.

Hence the sign "Don't feed the Animals".....

Lol fr my ex's dad found out i got a little bit from a car accident a few years back and that money was in his pocket in a matter of days.

I agree. She should’ve tried an anonymous donation (may have been difficult given that it was several family members). Most people will respect boundaries and not act crazy like this family, but it’s better to be safe. People go nuts if they see an easy fix to their money woes and wants. They lose all pride at the hope of a get rich quick scheme.

@Gerard Rietdijk Agreed. This is a no win situation, if you give anything to them they will keep demanding money until they bleed you dry. They have already resorted to physical intimidation and force, so there is no chance they would see a penny. Easier not to give anything and move away from everyone. As for SIL, she would not get a cent going forward for causing all of this. Her kids would still get the college funds, but she and her husband would see nothing else. What a selfish piece of work.

@Gerard Rietdijk Yeah, but given their level of entitlement (who plans a $35k vacation) they are probably still expecting money. This may include running up debt thinking the OP will help. That said, the kids seem innocent and shouldn't be punished due to the stupidity of their parents.

@@bwill1560 They can go on another vacation. Take the kids and leave the parents.

Like the Uncle said, "You have just as much chance to win the lottery whether you play it or not."

I know I'm a year late but yes there are a whole slew of update on the person's reddit about the family saga.

@@FromPointAtoMe links?

@@FromPointAtoMe links please 🙏

Narcissistic personality… you can treat them like normal people by they don’t behave like normal people.

If you win a state lottery, some states require that the winners be announced. Bad law.

She has the money I think if she ever chooses to pursue that course of action. I do think they need to suffer the consequences of their actions and live with it. The ultimate slap in their greedy faces seeing that they will get nothing and always have the money out of their reach.

Is this in the news Tania? Couldn’t find it

If she in China or someplace which seems likely, court works very slowly and such compalints never bear fruit.

Yes, she should press charges but this is the OPs fault. It's what she gets for trying to play savior. Her arrogance, disguised as goodwill, is what created the situation. You cannot start handing out money and expect the whole world not to line up. So instead of making life better for everyone in her extended family she has now divided it. When you give stuff to people, especially those who aren't asking for it or appreciative of it, you end up spoiling them and they become entitled.

@@zm6301 Why do you say she's trying toi play savior? Do you know her and how she thinks? Or are you just projecting what YOU would do??

Exactly!!!

Plus, sister in law as already received a great deal,

She shamed her own children. Good grief. Glad I am not her. Ughh

With the amount they are saving with nor mortgage payment nor no need to save money for college... they could probably take 1-2 years and save for that $35,000 vacation. (though why would someone spend that on a vacation is beyond me)

Hell, she deserves to be PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM EVERYTHING RELATED TO OP for this.

Sounds like my Mother. I do know how lucky I am 🥰.

Thanks, it was refreshing to hear/read your statement.

If the kids were younger maybe one a baby there is a lot you must take with you wherever you go.

I wish to God it was that easy lol

I have to say the same imagery went through my head too...

@@rexifelis Lol. 2 cute

@ EXACTLY! The problem was that she let them think that was NORMAL. That she felt OBLIGATED or whatever. She should have let them know early on it was a GIFT. That she didn't have to, but wanted to. Doubly so if you be extra nice to someone who was mean to you, without even calling them out. First impressions mean a lot, and once an idea gets into smeone's head, it can be hard to extract it

If I had a family member who had a lot of money, I would just congratulate them on their success and that would be the end of it.

@@williamgandarillas2185 same.

Why can't the husband control his family 🤔

@@nikitajessen5812 Probably because he doesn't want to call them that. Your 'real family' don't do no shit like this. Case in point: the nieces and nephews came to stay with their aunt and uncle after their mom showed her true colors. Jealousy knows no bounds🤷

Stock markets. Though as job wise, I can't tell you.

Investments where mentioned in the story

@@hybrid9mm Street corner.

Probably a stripper, they make like 500$-2k$ a single night

@@kevindumais9610 even at $2k that would be 17 nights of stripping to pay for SIL's vacay. SIL can strip for it herself.

It has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with her awful behavior. "The bully keeps slapping me until I agree to lick the bottom of his shoe" "Why didn't you just lick his shoe?"

@@frankvonfrauner unrelated, but ok

Too much generous. I had a friend I was always helping more than with money was by driving him somewhere or spending time with him (scared of being alone). One day being drunk he admitted what I was suspecting, he was bad talking about me and my personal problems with his friends, I cut contact with him and he doesn't understand why. One common friend admitted that was happening but did not admit she was also involved, when she did, blamed me for what they were talking on my back 🤨🤨🤨. Also cut with her.

If by chance I came into some fortune.... No one would know. If I did do something generous it would be done anonymous

@@andyandy2498 If I was generous I'd make it a point that they couldn't talk about it with anyone else. Just "Hey a friend did this" or "A generous donor saw I was struggling and helped me out with a financial gift!" type of thing. If it was someone I REALLY trusted, a member of my inner most circle who has really stuck by me? THat'd be different. I have a friend that'd just be grateful for anything I could do to help his crappy situation. Whether it was set up an allowance for housing, or paying for him to get certified in WHATEVER for him to get a job with less BS. He's treated me to things and I ALWAYS make it a point for anything he does. Whether it's a ride or what. I know he's going out of his way or spending hard earned money. I'd certainly pay him back for his kidness. I got this GF who has told me that's FAR rather have me in her life than money. That money doesn't buy me happiness, but I make her happiness. I know she hates gifts, so I'd probably just spend money on visiting her an other stuff. For some that;s all you need to do, is just fly over to visit them. Then you'd have a lovely time together. You could even rent a place if you needed or wanted to! Get some souveniers. Pay for some meals. Nothing super big, just "Oh I got some money for a vacation, but there was extra money. So I decided to use it to come see you"

So true

don't make social media posts about purchases/upgrades etc either. it gets used as guilt fuel. "well you guys bought _______ so you should be able to help us out with some $$$$"

The thing about greedy narcissists is that nothing is ever their fault.

The thing is that she already said she's not a liar so I doubt she would do that.

@@Batmans_Pet_Goldfish very true

The only problem with that is you're punishing the kids for the actions of their parents. You could be literally changing the course of their lives. Specially after already announcing that you'd be doing this. The OP would literally be spiteful by doing what you suggest. Not a good look.

​ @Muskoka Mike It's not "punishing the kids". It is not her responsibility to set up their college fund, it is the kid's parents who need to do that. If they can't afford to, that is still on them. She doesn't owe them anything. Them believing she does show their horrible, selfish, entitled, greedy moral character.

I would do the exact opposite. Best way to recognize the toxic people in your life and cut them off without any sort of hard feelings.

@@Icetuga1 Well, it’s his family so it’s not up to me to cut them off. I need to respect my husband’s feelings in this.

@sookableh I said that because when you drive down the street you always see a McDonald's cup laying next to the curb some where.

It's important that people don't know how much money you have. The greedy people will try to turn you into a soft touch. And when you pick up the check all the time it can make the less affluent friends uneasy or embarrassed.

Yep nobody in my family knows how much Ive paid for my house. Its more than all the rest of the other houses put together.

Something similar happened to a friend of mine, who at the time was just 22 years old. When her father died, she got an inheritance of $200,000. She went around telling everyone and of course, everyone wanted to be her friend and family started coming out of the woodwork. She foolishly gave away money, paid car notes, rent or mortgage payments, and anything else these people asked her to pay. 7-months later, she was flat broke and couldn't even pay her own car note and none of those people would help her out.

@@TaDarling1 Sometimes you pay a lot to learn basic lessons. She'll probably be much wiser as she works and saves in the future.

Right?

There was never there to begin with when you listen. They hated them. Had no sympathy. Right up until they had lots of money and then SUDDENLY "Oh yeah we need money. An since we decided to be nice to you now, you need to give us lots of it" It's greed at it's finest. The reason why so many wrongs are committed. When Love of Money > Love of People.

No, Money just amplifies what's already there.

I've said hit the lottery? Three calls: cpa, junk yard dog personal lawyer, tax lawyer. Would try to keep it to myself and disappear as much as possible. Why do you think the wealthy live in gated communities? This would be one big reason why.

No, you've got it wrong. It goes like this - give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll spend the rest of his life bobbing about on a boat with his mates drinking beer.

It's called "socialism".

You have some crappy friends.

@@andystokes8702 One of these reddit videos (probably r/tihi) had this gem: "Give a man a fish and he'll feed his family for a day; give a man a poisoned fish and he'll feed his family for the rest of their lives!" Sorry.

@@jon_j__ Ha, I had to think about that for a few seconds. Very good.

well maybe a restraining order

I read the story on reddit. She Did.

She knew the police where there.

Every Family, if the Lotto told everyone what happens to winners after winning. NO body would play the lottery

For the family members who helped, they deserve to have money put back in their pockets. They sowed in some good deeds when everyone else was abandoning them. Unfortunately, most of the family were cold hearted greedy people. Unwiling to help them out or even give them a loan. There are people that you CAN trust. For instance, I never act entilted with other people's money. I look at it as a gift that I should be thankful for. Even when I had a GF who ahd more money than me, I NEVER expected her to pay for ALL my stuff. Sometimes she'd buy me food or coffee, other times I was paying for it. I never complained the times I was the one paying either. All I tell people is, "If you come into some money i'd ask you at least buy meals when we're together and a nice gift for my Birthday and Christmas. I don't need or expect you to just toss a bunch of money." An in terms of a nice gift, it could be a brand new computer, rather than a brand new car for insance. It's open as to how "Nice" is defined. For some of us, we prefer people to money. Money is nice and all but...I get more out of people than possessions.